Chris: "Why is 'David' bigger than my name?"
Me: "There were three of them and one of you."
The distinctive presence of "inappropriate" renders the following especially hilarious:
THANK YOU EL FANO :-*
So how good were those tickets?
Um ... they were really good. Like that close to the action there, really good. Because I took that picture!
And this one
And this one
And this one
Those are not cropped, people. Those are, in fact, stone cold uncropped.
By the time we got around to buying those tickets, which were incidentally Row 3 VIP section behind the Kings bench (oh man), they were another $40 less each, right, and could we say no to that? No, truthfully and in actuality, we could not. On top of that the tickets were even better than I was expecting, and for $129.95 a pop I would be expecting a lot, even going into it knowing I would be able to hear Brad curse swears in person with mine own ears. Like once you fly first class you never want to fly coach again? This is how I must watch basketball from now on, every day. Seriously, I'd even go see the shitty Wolves play every other shitty team in the NBA with these seats. It was FUN. The Kings INEXPLICABLY (or explicably) LOST, but it was still fun.
Could this be a reason why it was fun?
Aw jeez. How many times did I say to Chris, "I can't stop staring at Brad. Is that awful?" and he's like "No! It's GREAT!"
He may have been a little sarcastic. Mike Bibby, on the other hand, knew better.
Yeah, yeah, taking too many pictures, I know. But if it's wrong to get excited about seeing your team (even if not especially when your team is battling for the ultimate dominant supremacy at the butt-ass bottom of the league), my God, I don't want to be right. I could have spent that $259.90 on hard drugs or psychotherapy (or giant sparkly earrings, MIKE BIBBY), I mean, come on!
Anyway, spending way too much money on really good seats to a Professional Sports Event? Totally worth it. Totally. Thank you, Minnesota Legislature, for bringing legalized scalping ticket brokering to our fair state!
I've been meaning to post this for like ever, since like weeks ago when I first blearily laid eyes upon this work of art one morning:
Hell yes my friend. Big as life or perhaps bigger than life if not pro-life right there on Third Avenue South. HUGE. I was sitting on the bus, right, just going to work, saw that and went
:-O
I found it online and showed it to Chris and he went
8-|
It's simply that damn good. Everything about this billboard is sheer genius, from the look on this dude's face
It's a kind of magic
to the SHOUTY KIDSCRIPT
AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT ASSHOLE
to the implied whisper of shame
psst FYI
I don't know where these guys can go from here, no matter how many non sequitur combos they throw at me, such as
HI THERE!
Did you know I have fingers?
or
WHAT?!
Babies like breathing!
Believe it or not I just made those up (I know!!!) but I'm sure you'll find something close to identical somewhere along I-35. Anyway, I don't think they can top this one. It's a brilliant marriage of concept, message and execution. Not the kind of execution that executes babies, though. Gosh no!
The real tragedy of my working 11-hour days is not manifested in my general feelings of fed-upedness but in the fact that I have not, until now, been able to address what is truly one of the most remarkable and baffling sartorial developments of the modern age:
Yes. What you see up there is what it is. Really.
Respected academic Tom Feely IMed me with this information yesterday and I thought it must have been a hilarious joke. "Ha ha," I said, "this must be a hilarious joke." But then I realized it was so hilarious it had to be true, for Feely would not joke about such things, or at least not IM me out of nowhere to joke about them. Clearly this was serious as a heart attack and I needed to be warned.
So then I went to Sactown Royalty and SLAM Online for confirmation and I was like GAAAAAAAH.
While at first I believed he was in a new-season makeover competition with Sean Avery, the play by play experts in the clip below trace this development back to his winning a bet, which then naturally begs the question of what would have happened if he lost.
See the magic in motion!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like it's just on the top of his head, right? So he could put on a hat and cover it up for FRESH LOOKS both on court and off. For real! Someone should send that tip in to Blueprint.
You know something, I'm strangely getting used to it because I am just that sad and insane, but then I see Brad's official NBA mug was finally released and I get a little sad and wistful for what once was, largely because for some reason he's reminding me of Elliott Smith here. I dunno. Cross your eyes a little, you'll see it.
It's become abundantly clear that I need to rethink my categories. Thank you, Brad's hair, for motivating me.
Who cares about insurance? What I really want to know is WHO IS THAT WOMAN AND WHY IS SHE AT MY FUNERAL.
Clearly this woman has killed me to get to my husband and our vaguely Italian-looking child. Did she approve of his wearing a Minnesota Wild jersey to this sacred occasion? Apparently, just to spite me. WHORE.
No amount of life insurance will protect my family as long as this harlot is around. Thank you, AccuQuote, for providing me this chilly vision into the future. When I see this woman coming, I'll be ready.
IT BEGINS
Sacramento King Justin Williams, left, gives teammate Brad Miller a hard time about his unkempt hair Monday during media day at the Kings' practice facility. (SacBee)
MEDIA DAY
MEDIA DAY
MEDIA DAY
MEDIA DAY
I want pictures now. Now now now now NOW. Clearly Brad is taking his disheveledness game to new heights JUST FOR ME and I am incapable of waiting to feast my eyes on the results. IT'S WHAT I CRAVE.
It may also be that I have a horrible bacterial respiratory infection on top of a "really nasty" (quote my doctor) respiratory virus and am taking all kinds of crazy drugs I really shouldn't be taking. And still going to work. What? Exactly.
Oh Brad. Jesus be a center part. I beg.
EDIT: Oh. My. GOD.
HOLY MOLY. What the hell happened? Where am I? What is that? Wait, I know what that is. That is extraordinary!
All Brad lacks is a handlebar moustache, some pinstripes and a damsel in distress to chain to some train tracks. Or--OR!--a cowboy hat and a bank train to hijack. Yes. YES. This is on some insane Christian Bale making questionable yet fascinating choices for a role next-level action, frightening weight loss and all.
And did he shave a stripe across his chin? Seriously, I'm asking, because that's what it looks like. GENIUS.
Maybe it's the hard prescription drugs talking, but I am so proud of this guy. Oh man. I can't wait to see what's next.
It takes a great man to snap me out of four full months of hiding. Yeah you know it.
VLADE!
I have that jersey! The J-Will 2000-01 special, anyway. While I do have a Vlade jersey. It is not a Kings jersey. It is quite frankly the most badass jersey of them all:
Eee, look how skinny!
VLADE!
I'm just gonna keep posting pictures to make up for lost posting on this page. My nav needs to be on the RIGHT side of the page, people. One man in a cuddly sweater can make that happen:
VLADE!
This post is not a celebration of my everyday Vlade worship, that which consumes my life on an hourly basis, but rather a celebration of he whom no less than Chris Webber calls "the best man I have ever met" upon his official retirement and initiative launch to house refugees, adopt orphans, teach people to be awesome and Lord knows what else in the name of all that is good and great, including coaxing Scot Pollard out to Serbia to rock a crazy beard with his tux:
Humanitarna organizacija Divac
Može353 i ti (You Can Too)
Vlade Divac, Serbia's Gentle Giant
Divac Creates New Team
Divac's You Can Too NBA.com Photo Gallery
The Magic of Vlade as Told in More Photos at NBA.com
Dude, there's a VLADE MUSEUM. Are you shitting me?! I know where I'm heading after I get a passport.
Before I go, here is one last loving look at a great man with a great gift for greatness:
VLADE!
You're welcome.
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3002: ON THE MOVE
I planned an entire New Year's countdown post around this hair, it being one of the many reasons I had cause to celebrate, but then I couldn't think of any other reasons to celebrate. (Haha! KIDDING!)
But I dare you to look at this picture and deny the hot:
Maybe it's not much of a dare, but dang. I feel the logical next step would be a Ryan Gosling beard. Pray with me.
We stopped at a McDonald's on the way to Chicago this summer. We believe it was in Hammond, Wis.
I could see this from the street as we pulled in and I FLIPPED OUT. It continues to haunt me. I feel there are terrifying things going on offscreen. Even more terrifying than what you see here? YES.
Click the thumbnail for the full chilling effect.
Captured forever with the awe-inspring high definition of my slowly dying Sidekick II, tonight's sunset as seen from my bus stop:
It really was pretty, trust me.
I went to Chicago and saw Scritti Politti and it was great! I'm tired! I have to sleep! Bye!
But did she ask him about his hair?
Because seriously, I can't concentrate on anything else. It's a question that needs answering. That, young lady, is the foundation of good journalism.
(I LOVE how she looks completely judgmental and may quite possibly be sucking her teeth, though. "Nuh-uh. That is not working. Hmm-MMM. No, son.")
Perhaps you could say I've been distracted, or maybe even BUSY, or creatively bankrupt (I'd say you could certainly say that); or maybe I was sick (check) and then I had an anniversary (yay!) and also just whiling away the days until the arrival of NBA MEDIA DAY! a.k.a. Christmas in October.
Then, THEN, I'm presented with a hairstyle that is engineered only to offend the laws of space and time. Yes, Brad is a genius in his ability to find new ways to look confounding on media day. He truly outdid himself this year. And because his hair DEFIES EXPLANATION, guess what? I'll explain it later. Touché, Mr. Miller. Touché.
In the meantime, reminisce with me on the 2K5. (I'm also working on a special secret Media Day project.) (SHH! It's a secret.) (Also, by "working on" I mean "imagining in my mind," but it'll be worth it.) (I promise.) (If I ever do it.)
Hey look! VLADE!
I need to put this somewhere where I remember where it is.
Oh yes.
Beverage of the evening: Le Grand Noir Chardonnay-Viognier (highly recommended, especially if you can buy it at Costco)
I'm not doing a very good job of keeping this place up, am I? I'll tell some stories.
I have a new job, a good job, a job that pays, a job that satisfies my artistic needs. That means I am in smoothed-out mode for the most part and basically not caring about much of anything, which is I guess like being on drugs without having to take drugs. Whoo.
I went to see an ophthalmologist today and my eyes are like a zillion times worse than they were two years ago. Well maybe not a zillion times, but I got an interesting reaction when they put up my current prescription for my left eye and asked me to read the eye chart and I could only read the three-letter line. And even then I was mostly guessing.
Chris: "Don't you get headaches?" Oh, yeah.
Oh YEAH. And my brother had his big 40th birthday party and made bacon cheeseburgers on Krispy Kremes. You know what they're called.
They were shockingly not disgusting and actually quite delicious.
I mean, look at that. LOOK AT IT. How can something that pretty be so bad for you?
Honestly.
One day at my new job I get a message on my voice mail. I pick it up and it is one of those robot voice pager things. The voice said:
I left you a check on the dining room table. Great show last night.
Intriguing! I wish robots would leave me checks on dining room tables. I saved the phone number for grins. I'll have to actually try and look it up someday, when I'm not lazy and coasting.
A few days later I get on the bus to go home and the seat that looks most appealing to me turns out to have a half-empty bottle of diet Coke lying on it. I sit down and drop it in the seat in front of me.
Some guy gets on later and sits in the outside seat of that row, so as not to disturb the half-empty bottle of diet Coke on the inside seat. OK. That guy gets off the bus. A woman sitting in the row ahead of that one on the other side of the aisle gets up and swear to God pounces on the half-empty bottle of diet Coke, brings it back to her seat and proceeds to drink it.
Good show.
Great show!
I know I have things to catch up on, but all I really cared about over the last couple weeks is getting some posters framed.
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
DO THE DANCE MIKE BIBBY DO THE DANCE
I FINALLY SEE THE KINGS WIN ON MY TV
WHAT A NIGHT
AWESOME SHAREEF AWESOME
BRAD, YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS YOU
BIBBY IS CLUTCH
VLADE!!!!!!!!!!!
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK LUKE WALTON FOR HIS TREMENDOUS CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE KINGS' WIN TONIGHT
THANK YOU KINGS
THANK YOU WORLD
THANK YOU
Dude, check it out! It's my biorhythm chart thingie. This is no joke, people. This is EXTREME REALNESS. So if you are likewise wondering why I'm completely crazy lately, apparently it is BECAUSE I AM. Woo.
Yeah you better watch it.
I'm scandalized and, quite possibly, traumatized.
See, this is a far preferable Brad image option, what with him sitting all gigantic in a tiny chair, bringing the knowledge to the young people. And the hat? It works and you know it. But oh, this is so wrong. Look how uncomfortable he is there. He knows I'm watching.
How could a new NBA season get started without me addressing the Brad on the Media Day? Some mysteries cannot be explained. Do you know how sick I am? SICK, people. I have an inhaler. AN INHALER. I should next get braces and an elastic band to keep my glasses on my head.
Also, I have no sick time left at work, which is FANTASTIC that I can sit there and sniff and cough and be a general nuisance all day long.
For that reason, the inhaler is excellent for possibly one reason and one reason only: the drama.
Person X: Kim, did you get that e-mail ...
Kim: [SHAKES INHALER WITH GUSTO]
Person X: ... about the project ...
Kim: [INHALES VIGOROUSLY]
Person X: ... that we need to complete today?
Kim: [EXHALES] I'm sorry. You were saying?
It's the accessory of the future. I highly recommend it.
I'm sorry. I was saying? Oh yes, MEDIA DAY. Puffy, bleary-eyed and wildly inappropriate, the Brad did not disappoint this year.
The chair picture. THE CHAIR PICTURE. It haunts me. Jane is so wise when she says the least the Kings could do is find a media day photographer who can manage to say, "Work it." There is no working here. When I said he looked like he'd just woken up in his pictures last year, clearly he set out to show me up. I've been shown, and I'm sorry.
"Oh no, that angle is inappropriate ... and I'm looking!" Jane again and right again. Plus the picture was bigger on kings.com. Much much bigger. Everything about that picture is ... inappropriate. And I'm looking!
Whew, this is better. While the "whisper to me words of wisdom, ball" pose is questionable, at least he looks a little angry about it. By the way, if you find the Olan Mills style of basketball portrait posing hilarious, may I direct you to the following outstandingly awesome images.
It's almost as if the Milwaukee Bucks' photographer said, "Please, for the love of God, don't work it."
I'd be remiss not to mention the headband once again masks the Caesar bangs. You say, "Oh no, not the Caesar bangs!" I say, sadly, oh yes.
Caesar bangs make Baby Jesus cry! He shaved his head for opening day, though, which is a grand relief. My silence was sending a message. Although it really was that I was just sick and lazy, but in my sick lazy head, I knew he knew I was watching.
Besides, that's an awesome Enrique Murciano Jr. smirk he's got going there, which can pretty much make up for any and all sartorial crimes. A remarkable effort. A+
You take your eyes off Scot Pollard for a summer, and he comes back as Jesus.
I'd like to see those creeps at Auburn Hills try to throw beers on him now.
Oh! It's the best time of year. Did you think it was that my anniversary is tomorrow? Oh! But it's NBA MEDIA DAY time.
Pictures slowly started creeping online today. It felt like Christmas morning.
First up: J-Will brings the HEAT. Oh my.
Thank goodness he's got Shaq around to keep him from doing this nonsense again.
I have the most superb picture of J-Will from his big signing meet the press day. I swear I meant to share all of this with you sooner, because he said some fantastic things at the press conference.
No Kings yet, though. I anxiously await to see how Brad Miller will work his bleary-eyed, hungover, ill-advised-facially-haired magic for the 2K5.
"I can only imagine ... and my imagination is amazing!"
It's been over 30 days since I've been here? Man that's terrible.
I was in Chicago. I took pictures in Chicago. I guess I'll take up some space with them. Yay!
Tonight I surpassed 20,000 songs on my iTunes and didn't even notice it. I'm tired. Through forensic analysis, It appears song #20,000 was "Non-Stop to Brazil" by Astrud Gilberto, from The Shadow of Your Smile (1964). Yay Astrud Gilberto.
I was all set to make a big post, but then I launched ecto and it told me there was an update, so I updated and lost all will to post. UNTIL NOW.
Basically, I'm excited because there's a new Saint Etienne single coming out, and it's here. It's great. It's all about courting death while you're walking home, which is fantastic. "Got cash in my pocket to last the weekend/ And I got features I quite like and don't mind keeping." Sarah's driving a white Mini in the video. It's like some kind of sign!
See, I decided the thing to keep me working is the promise that I might make enough money to buy a Mini. A pepper white Mini Cooper S with black stripes. That is my vision and my motivation.
Also, I have no idea if there's just crazy crime around here, or maybe I just notice it more because I have to deal with it at work on a daily basis. Living in NYC I guess I never paid it much mind, because if it wasn't like completely brutal, it didn't make the news and I never heard about it? Like I'd hear about the homeless dude who smacked people over the head with bricks, or the serial hypo stabbings, or when all those people got murdered at Wendy's and Primal Scream dedicated a song to them when they played at Hammerstein Ballroom.
But here, random fondlings? Bank robberies? Dudes on BMX bikes robbing people on their front lawns at gunpoint? That's everyday stuff everywhere and I think hmm, how strange. Then again, I actually have to pay attention to local crime every day now, so I suppose my views have become a little distorted.
Anyway, this ties into the new Saint Etienne song because I was just thinking about all the dangerous-walking-home scenarios in my life, like riding home on the subway and walking back to my apartment plastered at 4 a.m., alone, and the only time I ever felt threatened was that time the sidewalk was paved with rats like I'd walked into the Secret of NIMH.
I don't feel threatened around here, but should I be? I don't know. I probably should have constantly felt threatened when I was in New York, but when you take the M96 from First Avenue to Broadway in the middle of the night enough times, you begin to think you're immune to everything.
That's kind of what the song is about, I guess. OK. That's what I was trying to get to.
Anyway, this all becomes fascinating when you take into account that some woman got sexually assaulted last week in the middle of the day around Marquette and 8th Street, which is basically the Minneapolis equivalent of raping someone in the middle of Rockefeller Center in broad daylight. It's ludicrous.
Plus double plus, who wants to go near Marquette in the first place? Every other entryway is a frigging parking garage thruway. You will get mowed the F over. Also, the sidewalk is about three feet wide. Give me a break.
Now, what makes this SUPER hilarious is that Metro Transit, or the City, or whatever, decided they're starting this new "experiment" where they're no longer running buses on Nicollet Mall between 6:30 and 11 p.m. on weekdays! Which is perfect timing, you know, because I actually like to take the bus because a) I'm lazy and b) if I walk across town I'll end up buying more shoes at Saks Off Fifth~~~. But that's my own personal problem -- just think of all the hot fun criminal opportunities opening up for everyone else to contend with.
Oh wait, here's the explanation about the bus shutdown business:
It is a test -- designed at the request of the City of Minneapolis and the downtown business community -- to see if the heart of the city could become even more livable by shifting buses to other streets.
I'm supposed to get out of work at 6, but I usually don't, or CAN'T, therefore I'm not able to hop a crosstown bus by 6:30. Therefore my options, if I'm not walking, would be to bus crosstown on Hennepin or on Marquette. Hahaha what?
It's not as bad as all that really -- I just wanted to make that map.
I really should have put little danger skulls around Gaviidae and Marshall Field's, but that would have taken too much effort. (I'm not shopping at Neiman Marcus anymore. We have "issues". You know, "Not putting merchandise in the customer's bag after the customer pays for it" issues.)
Hey look! I made my post after all.
Did you know Crow II is running again? He's right here and he says hi.
We were just watching "Numbers," sorry, "NUMB3RS," from a couple of weeks back and Ethan Embry was on it and holy moly, what happened?
When did he get so ... beefy? And so BALD?! Crazy.
I'm at least hopeful his Drowning Pool facial hair was "for the role."
Oh my God!
Here it is ... again ... and it's called ... 1-2-
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
You simply can't go wrong with the classics.
Where on earth (or elsewhere) this new move come from, though.
Whoa.
P.S. Kings 101, 76ers 99, hahahahaha woo.
And with the Chris Webber era, so goes my printer.
It's an Epson Stylus Color 600. I got it in 1998, before USB peripherals even existed. It still uses a parallel-to-USB cable. It's beige. It's big. It's ugly. It's freakishly loud. It's served me in four apartments in three states. My ceiling caved in on it once, and I still find plaster chunks in it from time to time, but it never completely wussed out on me ... until now.
I don't think there's ever even been a proper OSX driver for this thing, but I could always rely on the good graces of open source drivers. They're just not doing it anymore. The old thing prints, but ever soooo faintly. More often I just get "printer not responding' or "printer busy" errors. It hasn't cranked out anything remotely professional-looking in months -- my resumes came out looking like Designer Republic posters, and not in a good way -- but if you needed something printed out, it got the job done. Not anymore.
I had to print out a return label the other day and it took five tries and extreme contrast noodling in Photoshop to get the thing to look like something other than a big gray wash. Now I'm trying to get some name-change documents filled out and printed with a copy of my marriage license (I still have an active NYC bank account with actual cash in it, like I figured it would magically close itself and send me my money sometime in the last two years) but hahahaha, no. I could send these things to TDR and they'd proclaim me Graphic Designer of the Future. They're completely illegible and I can't keep wasting paper on stuff I can't use.
I probably would have gone ahead and splurged on a new printer ages ago but I love this crappy old mess. Look at all the stickers on it! You can't even see the secret hidden *NSYNC stickers on the inside. I've printed out glorious job resignation letters on this thing. Ten-page-long e-mails from the boyfriend who is now the husband. A letter to Eliot Spitzer ratting out my former place of employment for its illegal COBRA procedures. We've been through too much together. My heart can't let it go.
But being able to print things again, that'd be pretty nice. Sigh. I fear the time has come, and I must move on.
This doesn't just give me The Rage, this gives me The Rage: Carrie 2.
ESPN.com - NBA - Kings ready to end Webber era with 76ers deal:
The Sacramento Kings have completed a deal that will send Chris Webber to the Philadelphia 76ers, two league sources told ESPN Insider Chad Ford.
The Sixers would send Kenny Thomas, Corliss Williamson and Brian Skinner to the Kings in exchange for Webber, Matt Barnes and Michael Bradley.
I don't understand how, if Peja and Webber are having a problem, you get rid of the one who's actually producing, even if he only has one leg. And Matt Barnes?! You've gotta be kidding me?! He's practically awesome. I don't even know what reasoning they could give that could make me feel good about that.
Are there gonna be riots? I imagine there are gonna be riots.
Well, at least now C-Webb will be closer to J-O-D. Hahahahaha. Ohhh nonononono. :'(
For Good Times
and Great Oldies
... Oh Man This Sucks
Me on December 1, 2004: "When exactly did the whole Victorian/pioneer blouse come back in style? I anxiously await the return of boatneck sweaters with dolman sleeves and shoulder pads up to the ears."
Keira Knightley on January 22, 2005:
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.
Now that we're both working and flush with cash, obviously this is the vehicle by which we should enjoy the fruits of our labors.
This is your chance to own the house that former owner Terry Lewis, the Grammy-winning music producer who helped make Janet Jackson and others famous, built in 1993.
The house, which is on 82 feet of Lake Minnetonka shoreline, has 27-foot ceilings in some rooms. Its more than 25,000 square feet includes 13 bathrooms, two kitchens, nine fireplaces and an elevator, plus a movie theater, recording studio, hair salon, an indoor basketball court, grill room and swimming pool with sauna and spa.
Price: $12 million (startribune.com)
A hair salon? That's the deal-sealer right there.
Sup nerds!
It's been a while but I've been WORKING and also I've been liking working. Yeah I said it. Just wait until I start getting paid so I can blow it all on a Hermés Birkin bag. Being around my mom has made it unhealthy for me to be aware of consumer options regarding purses on a regular basis.
I went and did karaoke tonight and GUESS WHAT I DID.
I was going around trying to find a gratuitous glamour shot of Brad Miller in order to do what catchin' up and all the photos from the game tonight against the Knicks are like total open dunk shots. My God, they make it so easy.
Instead, how about this gratuitous smiley shot. That's what America, nay, the world needs right now. Smiley Brad. Without the crazy hillbilly biker moustache.
<-----------(crazy hillbilly biker moustache)
Hey look, Vlade's all cleared and suited up and throwing balls around.
He looks good! I mean like good-looking good. His playing sucked (so I hear).
Also, look how much this rules.
Go see it bigger for maximum appreciation: Aubernica (wizznutzz.com)
This isn't turning into a basketball blog, I'm sorry, I'm just not finding myself able to write anything about anything else at the moment.
OMG breaking news and an emergency installment of
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
Our long national nightmare is over. Even though he now looks like a refugee from Hoosiers, it's a remarkable improvement. And while he didn't give a phenomenal performance or anything, the Grizzlies did manage to beat the division-leading Spurs tonight. COINCIDENCE?! I think not.
It's all because I was warming up to the hydro hair back here, obviously.
What was uglier, the Pacers/Pistons Brawl 4 All
or the Mavs uniforms designed by P. Diddy?
Oh ho ho I kid. OR DO I?! Anyway, never in my life have I seen such blatant disrespect for beverages and snack foods of all kinds. Poor Ron Artest. You could tell he was trying so, so hard to stay out of trouble, just like Gamera. And now I have infinite respect for Jermaine O'Neal after he completely flew out of nowhere and duh-ropped that guy who got onto the floor. Also entertaining was the studio commentary, where the prevailing attitude was that the fans were asking to get pounded on extra-hard ("Real men don't attack from behind! What a shameful display!") until they remembered to think of The Children, which meant, of course, that the fans deserved to get pounded on for behaving like chickeny girls in front of The Children. And you know, that's logic I can agree with.
BILL WALTON: 'I AM DEVASTATED'
Now there's nothing but "back ... and to the left" coverage on SportsCenter. Jeez, I reminisce about an NBA skirmish of old and look what happens.
All this got me so hopped up that I could barely concentrate on the big Kings/Grizzlies matchup I was PUMPED and GEEKED for. The game was fairly predictable in that the Kings blew a 16-point lead to a phenomenal degree, but then the Grizzlies inevitably collapsed deep into the fourth quarter to give the Kings a two-point win. So everyone was in their element, pretty much.
Brad had an uneventful night. Webber did the job for both of them. J-Will, he had a pretty good night. Oh wait, that means it's time to catch up with an ARCO Arena-sized edition of
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
Honestly? I thought it looked good tonight. It's starting to look natural to me. Now where's my drink?
OK, so the Bulls were leading by one at the half and that made me cry a little, but I should not have feared, because the Kings are now 4-4! 4-4! .500 baby! What would Jesus do? Connect on six of ten from downtown, that's RIGHT, Mike Bibby! Tune in to ESPN on Friday when the Grizzlies meet the Kings! J-Will Hair Watch 3000 collides with the Gargantuan Foxiness of B-52! Caution, I sense SEXCAPADES may be afoot!
So tonight we did the karaoke. OMG what happened.
P.S., I have to be terribly proud of myself because I had blanked "Shiny Happy People" out of my mind so completely that I was left singing a totally backwards atonal version of it that had no resemblance to the original whatsoever because I could not remember it at all, and I was trying even. Of course afterward it all suddenly came rushing back to me so now I am cursed to have both my backwards atonal version and the actual version of it running through my head at all hours of the day. What was it, ten years without having that song polluting my consciousness? It was a good run.
Oh yes, my children. Kings are 3-4, two in a row over 1) creepy lizard man Steve Nash and the Suns and 2) the Nuggets (or the Nuggs, as they are known in this house for inexplicable reasons). It all turns around NOW!
Last night saw the triumphant return of Smiley Laugh-y Brad, and it was breathtaking. Although I do so enjoy About to Beat Somebody's Ass Brad. He has so much going for him. Oh! Also NBA-TV got around to finally showing his version of the League Pass commercial, where he's unconsciously rocking back and forth in his chair while he talks just like I do when I'm feeling especially autistic. I'll have to get that out of the DVR and into my computer one of these days. If they ever get around to showing it AGAIN, that is.
Also, how did the Grizzlies manage to blow a 21-point lead in the fourth quarter against the Sonics? Let's find out with the help of
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
The bangs. My God, look at the bangs.
The Kings are now 1-4. I hate it. The Sonics game was brutal. I'd go as far as to say it was F-ing brutal. We kept watching it in the distant hope that Brad Miller would finally snap and beat the crap out of somebody, because there were plenty of people who were asking for it, but alas, it was not meant to be. It almost would have made up for the loss. Almost. It was fun hearing his cursey swears go over the air on ESPN, though.
But their spirit will never be broken. Excuse me while I go weep in the corner for a bit. I should look for good things to say, though. The game Tuesday night was really awesome! There, I said it.
Hey, guess who led his team to their first win of the season, over the Lakers of all people? Six assists, 17 points, that's right baby, it's time for
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
Rrawrrr! Ooh! Feelin' it! While the overall effect was much greener on the TV, it's clear that his head is looking more and more like our dish-scrubbing brush with each passing day. Not even remotely sexsational. D-
Polo crests. The deep-V-neck cardigan. GENERRA. This is truly the greatest thing I have seen in many weeks spent ... looking at things.
My friend Kevin recently cleaned out his wardrobe, which, due to his pack rat nature, was crammed with clothes he hadn't worn in more than a decade. Among the discarded were 25 sweaters that can generously be described as "hideous." ... Kevin's defense? "I worked at Marshalls in North Olmsted, Ohio, during high school and got a 15 percent discount. It was cold. It was the late '80s."
Why does Britney Spears keep trying to convince us of something we will never, ever believe, no matter how hard she tries?
How come the Associated Press can put up a graf like this, meanwhile I'm not working? At all?
Oh yes, working. Remember how I told you about how I was waiting on a job back here? And waiting and waiting? Well, I called and left a message that day (October 29) and I still haven't heard a thing. That was over a week ago. It's now been over two weeks since the woman emailed me to say she had work for me. Maybe if she got fired? I'd be willing to guess that, but usually people like that are the ones who keep their jobs forever and ever at that place.
I'm thisclose to going back to retail. I hate the general public and all, but I never dealt with anyone this stupid when I was working in a bookstore. Plus you get a sweet employee discount. DWR just opened up a branch in Minneapolis, you know.
The Kings are off to a blazing 0-2 start after closing out the preseason with a delightful 2-6 record, their worst showing since 1994. I miss Vlade. It kills me. I watched the game tonight and it was like, Let's just give the Spurs 50 second-chance points! Yay! I then tuned in to Lakers/Jazz on the off chance that Vlade was there (nope, he's still injured) and goodness, people sure don't like that Kobe fellow.
I also caught a bit of Wizards/Grizzlies, which gave me an idea for an important new feature ...
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000!
Hmm yes, it still terrifies. Michael Ruffin is actually holding a mirror there, see, which explains the look of horror. So that's what it looks like when I don't touch up my roots, he thinks. I must rectify this immediately.
In the meantime, give it up for my creepy hair. What what!
I need some work so's I can buy League Pass. They're giving me that free taste this week and I don't think I can live without it.
This revelation will only be relevant to three other people on the planet, but it is EARTHSHATTERING: James Hyde was a backup dancer for Dead or Alive (via Dustin's Passions Page). This is the most amazing thing ever. His association with "International Male" makes total perfect sense now.
Oh wait, wait wait wait! WAIT! So I went to see if maybe I could find that picture of him in his "plush lounger," right, and I find out that it even SAYS this on his International Male page. It was RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG. I need to bookmark that site finally for real.
Why this was never revealed to me before, I have no idea. I feel a fog is lifting.
EDIT: Of course it's not a "plush lounger," it's The Fleece Snuggler®. How could I forget?!
I should be paying more attention to the "Arrested Development" marathon than I am, since we really have no business dropping Real Money on the DVDs on Tuesday. I'm all about the Hot Cops.
This is a sick house. We're both sick, so sick. Sick sick sick. We haven't left the house for days. Combine this with the INSANE fresh paint fumes from the stairwell (the guy finally finished the job today) and it is a wonder we are not hallucinating faeries and gnomes running around the house. Well, I guess I'm only speaking for myself. But it's not like I can smell much of anything, yet I am experiencing an overwhelming chemical sensation in my respiratory extremities when I breathe. This must be what carbon monoxide poisoning is like. I wish we could open the windows and get some fresh air but hey guess what? It's 38º outside. And raining. I don't think asking for pneumonia is a good idea.
Tonight is the second Kings/Rockets game in China. The first one was fun, even if the Kings lost, but winning wasn't the point and all that. Plus if the Rockets lost, the crowd would have been so sad. And we don't want that. I hope I can manage to be awake when it's on.
This is all exciting news, I know. Eh. I got nothing, but holy crap, check out Brad Miller on a camel.
So yesterday, October 4, was our first anniversary. Yay!
We spent the weekend doing more work around the house and watching "The Office." I tried to not get sick, because it got really cold around here. I had to bring the plants in and everything. We turned the heat on. It was wacky. Now it's going to be, like, 80º tomorrow. What? Exactly.
So then, the anniversary. There was reminiscing. We got married in Minneapolis, and then we moved to Minneapolis? Crazy. I love it. It also means it's been a year since I've seen my friends. That's a different kind of crazy, but we'll fix that.
Oh! We had the most awesome dinner at Kikugawa. Apparently we got the same thing Hideki Matsui gets. Maybe he'll be there in a few days, har har. I drank a girly cocktail and then two bottles of hot sake. Then we came home and ate a tiny tiny bit of our wedding cake. It had been hiding out in my grandmother's freezer all this time. It held up surprisingly well — other than a little freezery taste to the buttercream, it was pretty darn good for year-old cake. I've tasted worse fresh ones. That's a weird-looking sentence.
Tonight I think we're actually going to fire up the "s'mores maker" we got as a wedding present. It's basically a pu-pu platter table Hibachi on a lazy Susan with fondue forks. (Sterno not included.) We've got all the fixings ready to go. Quick, before it's 80º again.
I love Christopher. He is the best. The best of the best. I'm very lucky. Lucky and happy.
Karaoke. MY GOD. WHAT HAVE I DONE.
Of course my brother easily took the gross-out title with his rendition of "Here Comes the Hotstepper," which was, quite simply, wrong and uncalled for.
Oh! Tonight was karaoke. WHAT ON EARTH DID I DO.
My brother did "Kashmir," it was flipping insane.
I'm terribly sleep deprived. I'm sure Mark Slaughter would recommend I get more sleep next time I attempt his most magnificent work of art. (And I'm going to do it again. Oh yeah. It was HOT.)
Just got back from KARAOKE! Here's what I did.
That's all, I need water and sleeping for tomorrow I do laundry.
How can anyone be sick all morning, yet still go out for a night of karaoke, drink a pitcher's worth of beer and get White Castles on the way home? Aw yeah. That's really a light evening for me, though, I'm on the road to recovery here. And I don't drive. Which reminds me, a kind gentleman gave me his Jägermeister shot at closing time since apparently he didn't think it was a good idea to drink it for the road. Syrupy! I still don't get "the deal" with that stuff, it doesn't really "work" on me. Although it does lead to quotation abuse, apparently.
Oh! But what did I sing?!
Also my husband did "Doll Parts," which was really quite magical.
Hey! We've been busy.
So we more or less moved in the first week of August, which means we've been here for like a month and a half, and as you can plainly see from the following photos, we've done a fabulous job of getting the place in ship-shape. Click to enlarge!
I just took those pictures tonight. I'm not kidding. So yeah, we've got some work to do. Check out the hot leaded glass window in my little baby office though.
But we've been busyyyyyy! Honest. If you get to Minnesota in the middle of fair season, you're going to be totally preoccupied. Someday I'll show you the pictures of foods beyond anything you have ever imagined. Guy Captain and the World of My Butt has got nothing on batter-coated, deep-fried bacon. Wait for it.
So the Mr. detailed our trip to Minnesota with great, uh, detail here, so if you are interested and haven't already read it, maybe you could read it! I really have nothing to add other than that when we got caught in that storm in Nebraska, I really thought we were going to be at the very least seriously injured. Nothing against Chris' driving ability, because he is a genius, but we were smack in the middle of like a 50-mile red zone and had no business being out of doors, let alone on a strange road! in the dark! in a car! attempting to go 65 mph! and anyway, you get the picture. If this weather had happened on the East Coast, I swear it would still be on the news. I thought I was gonna puuuuuuke.
Oh man, they're showing that Star Wars documentary on A&E again, over and over and over again, and they just showed the part where they froze Han Solo and man, when I saw that at the movies (The Brainerd Twin!) I just cried and cried. I really haven't seen these movies since I saw them at the movies. Maybe I should see them again, if we can figure out where Chris stashed the Laserdiscs. Oh man, they're finally putting out all three That's Entertainments on DVD so now I don't feel so special anymore for having the Laserdiscs. I'm getting off track? Oh yes!
So the thing is that the iPod is a really helpful tool in a long-distance travel situation, and you had better hope that you have a cassette player in your car, because the awesomest thing to do is just get a cassette adapter and hook it up to the iPod and voila, you have instant stereo hotness for the road. I don't trust those iTrip things or whatever, and besides, clearly all you need is the sweet 1986 technology. So yes, get you one of those. And then you can do fun things, like keep track of all the songs you play on your trip so you can put them in your blog later. Because it is very, very, very important to preserve such information.
This is what our trip looked like, then. I'd try to mess with the tab-spacing to make it a little clearer, but you know, you can figure it out. You know.
7/27/04 8:45 PM Tone Burst Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 8:48 PM Our Trinitone Blast Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 8:54 PM Pack Yr Romantic Mind Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 8:57 PM I'm Going Out of My Way Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 9:04 PM Golden Ball Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 9:09 PM Pause Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 9:27 PM Jenny Ondioline Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 9:32 PM Analogue Rock Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 9:38 PM Crest Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 9:41 PM Lock-Groove Lullaby Stereolab Transient Random-Noise Bursts With Announcements
7/27/04 9:45 PM Who Loves the Sun Velvet Underground, the Loaded
At that point we were driving past ARCO Arena in Sacramento, so the lyrics, combined with my lingering Vlade pains, were oh so very apropos.
7/27/04 9:50 PM Sweet Jane Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 9:54 PM Rock and Roll Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 9:57 PM Cool It Down Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 10:03 PM New Age Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 10:06 PM Head Held High Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 10:08 PM Lonesome Cowboy Bill Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 10:13 PM I Found a Reason Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 10:16 PM Train Round the Bend Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 10:24 PM Oh! Sweet Nuthin' Velvet Underground, the Loaded
7/27/04 10:27 PM Sunday Morning Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 10:32 PM I'm Waiting for the Man Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 10:34 PM Femme Fatale Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 10:40 PM Venus in Furs Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 10:44 PM Run Run Run Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 10:50 PM All Tomorrow's Parties Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 10:57 PM Heroin Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 11:00 PM There She Goes Again Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 11:02 PM I'll Be Your Mirror Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 11:05 PM The Black Angel's Death Song Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/27/04 11:13 PM European Son Velvet Underground, the The Velvet Underground & Nico
This was when we crossed over into Nevada. All that singing along helped me get through the Donner Pass. Spoooooky
7/27/04 11:18 PM Dark & Long 7" Underworld Dark & Long
7/27/04 11:38 PM Thing in a Book Underworld Dark & Long
Here's where we stopped in Reno for the night and Chris proceeded to win $250. Yay
7/28/04 1:20 PM Spoon Deep Underworld Dark & Long
7/28/04 1:31 PM Dark Hard Underworld Dark & Long
Arby's? Delicious.
7/28/04 2:19 PM Dark Train Underworld Dark & Long
7/28/04 2:28 PM Burts Underworld Dark & Long
7/28/04 2:34 PM Silk Skin Paws Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 2:39 PM The Finest Drops Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 2:43 PM The Queen of Ur and the King of Um Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 2:47 PM Free Falling Divisions Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 2:51 PM It's a Boy Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 2:58 PM Boiling Boy Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:02 PM Kidney Bingos Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:05 PM Come Back in Two Halves Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:09 PM Follow the Locust Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:14 PM A Public Place Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:18 PM The Queen of Ur and the King of Um (Alternative Version) Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:25 PM Pieta Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:32 PM Over Theirs (Live) Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:40 PM Drill (Live) Wire A Bell Is a Cup Until It Is Struck
7/28/04 3:48 PM Metronomic Underground Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 3:53 PM Cybele's Reverie Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 3:57 PM Percolator Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:01 PM Les Yper-Sound Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:03 PM Spark Plug Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:09 PM OLV 26 Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:12 PM The Noise of Carpet Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:31 PM Tomorrow Is Already Here Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:36 PM Emperor Tomato Ketchup Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:39 PM Monstre Sacre Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:43 PM Motoroller Scalatron Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:47 PM Slow Fast Hazel Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:52 PM Anonymous Collective Stereolab Emperor Tomato Ketchup
7/28/04 4:57 PM The Word Girl (Flesh and Blood) Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:01 PM Small Talk Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:05 PM Absolute Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:10 PM A Little Knowledge Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:14 PM Don't Work That Hard Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:19 PM Perfect Way Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:22 PM Lover to Fall Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:27 PM Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin) Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:31 PM Hypnotize Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:36 PM Flesh and Blood Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:43 PM Absolute (Version) Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:49 PM Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin) (Version) Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 5:55 PM Hypnotize (Version) Scritti Politti Cupid & Psyche 85
7/28/04 6:00 PM One Plus One Is One Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:03 PM Easy Love Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:06 PM Summertime in Wintertime Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:10 PM This Is That New Song Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:15 PM Another Devil Dies Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:17 PM The Blossoms Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:22 PM Year of the Rat Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:26 PM Four Leaf Clover Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:28 PM Fewer Words Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:32 PM Logic of a Friend Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:35 PM Stockport Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:38 PM Life Turned Upside Down Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 6:43 PM Takes the Glory Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 7:09 PM Holy Grail Badly Drawn Boy One Plus One Is One
7/28/04 7:16 PM Medicine Show Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
7/28/04 7:20 PM Sony Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
7/28/04 7:26 PM E=MC2 Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
7/28/04 7:31 PM The Bottom Line Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
7/28/04 7:37 PM A Party Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
7/28/04 7:42 PM Sudden Impact! Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
7/28/04 7:47 PM Stone Thames Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
7/28/04 7:52 PM Bad Big Audio Dynamite This Is Big Audio Dynamite
Dude, driving through Nevada is FRICKING BORING. It's breathtaking and beautiful and all but after about 10 minutes you're like, "Ugh, seen it."
7/28/04 7:58 PM Papercuts Broadcast Extended Play
7/28/04 8:02 PM Belly Dance Broadcast Extended Play
7/28/04 8:07 PM Where Youth and Laughter Go Broadcast Extended Play
7/28/04 8:11 PM Dave's Dream Broadcast Extended Play
7/28/04 8:16 PM Illumination Broadcast Extended Play Two
7/28/04 8:23 PM Unchanging Window/Chord Simple Broadcast Extended Play Two
7/28/04 8:26 PM A Man for Atlantis Broadcast Extended Play Two
7/28/04 8:29 PM Poem of Dead Song Broadcast Extended Play Two
7/28/04 8:33 PM Drums On Fire Broadcast Extended Play Two
That was the soundtrack to us driving through Utah all white knuckles, wondering if we'd make it to the next gas station before running out of gas. That was fun! Let's never do it again! P.S., Utah? FRICKING BORING.
7/28/04 8:55 PM Remember (ESCM 12" Mix) BT Rare & Remixed
7/28/04 9:05 PM Nocturnal Transmission BT Ima
7/28/04 9:11 PM Quark BT Ima
7/28/04 9:18 PM Tripping the Light Fantastic BT Ima
7/28/04 9:23 PM Embracing the Future (Embracing the Sunshine Mix) BT Ima
7/28/04 9:30 PM Deeper Sunshine BT Ima
7/28/04 9:40 PM Loving You More (BT's Garden of Ima Dub) BT Ima
7/28/04 9:43 PM Loving You More (BT's Final Spiritual Journey) BT Ima
7/28/04 9:52 PM Poseidon BT Ima
7/28/04 10:03 PM Embracing the Sunshine BT Ima
7/28/04 10:08 PM Blue Skies (f/ Tori Amos) BT Ima
7/28/04 10:42 PM The Delphinium Days Mix BT Ima
7/28/04 11:25 PM Sasha's Voyage of Ima BT Ima
Here's where we turned in for the night right after crossing the border into Wyoming, at a Days Inn run by a dude covered with prison tattoos. It was humid in there, man. It was weird.
7/29/04 11:24 AM Divinity BT Ima
7/29/04 11:33 AM Melody Gainsbourg, Serge Histoire de Melody Nelson
7/29/04 11:35 AM Ballade de Melody Nelson Gainsbourg, Serge Histoire de Melody Nelson
7/29/04 11:36 AM Valse de Melody Gainsbourg, Serge Histoire de Melody Nelson
7/29/04 11:38 AM Ah! Melody Gainsbourg, Serge Histoire de Melody Nelson
7/29/04 11:42 AM L'hotel particulier Gainsbourg, Serge Histoire de Melody Nelson
7/29/04 11:45 AM En Melody Gainsbourg, Serge Histoire de Melody Nelson
7/29/04 11:53 AM Cargo culte Gainsbourg, Serge Histoire de Melody Nelson
7/29/04 11:57 AM Utopia (Genetically Enriched) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
7/29/04 12:02 PM U.K. Girls (Physical) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
This must have been when we stopped at Little America. YAY SOUVENIR PENGUIN COFFEE CUPS
7/29/04 1:47 PM Human (Live) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
7/29/04 1:52 PM Human (Calexico Vocal) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
7/29/04 2:00 PM Utopia (Jori Hulkkonen Remix) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
7/29/04 2:08 PM Utopia (Tom Middleton Cosmos Vocal) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
7/29/04 2:13 PM Utopia (Tim Wright Mix) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
7/29/04 2:21 PM Utopia (Sunroof Mix) Goldfrapp Utopia (Genetically Enriched)
7/29/04 2:26 PM Utopia (Plaid Mix) Goldfrapp "Magic" Promo
7/29/04 2:33 PM Not Over Yet (BT's Peyote Dub) Grace 10 Years in the Life
This is probably where we hit the summit rest stop with all the cool stuff about the Lincoln Highway. We were busy LEARNING!
7/29/04 4:55 PM TV Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 4:59 PM Show Business Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 5:04 PM Kissing the Machine Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 5:09 PM Lifestyle Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 5:14 PM Crosstalk Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 5:23 PM Information Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 5:28 PM Esperanto Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 5:33 PM Overdrive Elektric Music Esperanto
7/29/04 5:39 PM TV2 Elektric Music TV
7/29/04 5:44 PM TV Elektric Music TV
7/29/04 5:48 PM Television Elektric Music TV
7/29/04 5:59 PM The Girl With the Sun in Her Head Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 6:05 PM P.E.T.R.O.L. Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 6:11 PM The Box Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 6:18 PM The Box Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 6:27 PM Dwr Budr Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 6:36 PM Adnan's Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 6:47 PM Out There Somewhere? Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 7:00 PM Out There Somewhere? Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 7:08 PM Times Fly (Slow) Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 7:48 PM Sad but New Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 7:56 PM Times Fly (Fast) Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 8:03 PM The Tranquilizer Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 9:22 PM The Box Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 9:26 PM Satan (Industry Standard) Orbital In Sides
Somewhere around here, we crossed over into Nebraska. I was half asleep. Ooh, look at all that heat lightning up there! Hahahahahaha. Ahahaha. Uh.
7/29/04 9:33 PM Satan (Live in New York City) Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 9:37 PM The Saint Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 9:48 PM The Sinner Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 9:57 PM Halcyon and On and On (Live) Orbital In Sides
7/29/04 10:09 PM Everything in Its Right Place Radiohead White Label
7/29/04 10:17 PM Call & Response Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 10:36 PM Mind Weaver Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 10:43 PM Haunted Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 10:52 PM Technical Warfare Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 11:01 PM Love & Hate Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 11:09 PM Capital D Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 11:16 PM Dubstar Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 11:25 PM Wanton Conduct Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 11:34 PM Concealed Identity Source Direct Exorcise the Demons
7/29/04 11:42 PM Call & Response Source Direct Controlled Developments
I just thought of something! If you're making a movie about being caught in a car in the middle of a terrible thunderstorm with sheets of torrential rain and zero visibility while you're being pelted with giant hailstones, Source Direct is probably the perfect soundtrack. I would advise against Source Direct in a similar real-life situation, however, because it will make you want to crap your pants in terror. What was Britney thinking?!
7/30/04 11:35 AM Tryouts for the Human Race/Beat the Clock (Hot Tracks Mix) Sparks Hot Tracks 12"
7/30/04 11:41 AM When I'm With You Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 11:45 AM Just Because You Love Me Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 11:50 AM Rock 'n' Roll People in a Disco World Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 12:25 PM When I'm With You (Instrumental) Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 12:30 PM Young Girls Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 12:34 PM Noisy Boys Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 12:38 PM Stereo Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 12:43 PM The Greatest Show On Earth Sparks Terminal Jive
7/30/04 12:49 PM Inspiration Information Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 12:54 PM Island Letter Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 1:00 PM Sparkle City Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 1:04 PM Aht Uh Mi Hed Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 1:05 PM Happy House Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 1:08 PM Rainy Day Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 1:10 PM XL-30 Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
We were really tired so we pulled over to this rest stop to nap, right, and there was this pond with little fishes in it and oh, it was ever so exciting.
7/30/04 1:45 PM Pling! Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 1:47 PM Not Available Otis, Shuggie Inspiration Information
7/30/04 1:52 PM You're the Best Thing Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 1:57 PM Have You Ever Had It Blue (12" Version) Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:05 PM Money Go Round (Parts 1 & 2) Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:11 PM My Ever Changing Moods (12" Version) Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:16 PM Long Hot Summer (12" Version) Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:20 PM The Lodgers Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:23 PM Walls Come Tumbing Down Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:27 PM Shout to the Top! Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:30 PM Wanted Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:35 PM It Didn't Matter Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:38 PM Speak Like a Child Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 2:42 PM A Solid Bond in Your Heart Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
TACO BELL, BABY. Are we in Iowa yet? I don't remember.
7/30/04 3:54 PM Life at a Top People's Health Farm Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 3:57 PM Promised Land Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 4:01 PM How She Threw It All Away Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
7/30/04 4:05 PM Waiting Style Council, the The Singular Adventures of the Style Council
P.S., how could anyone ever put out a Style Council singles compilation and not include "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" or "Heavens Above"? That shit makes no sense whatsoever.
7/30/04 4:14 PM Tears Are Not Enough (Extended Version) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 4:22 PM Alphabet Soup (Extended Version) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 4:25 PM That Was Then but This Is Now ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 4:33 PM How to Be a Zillionaire (Wall Street Mix) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 4:38 PM Be Near Me (Munich Disco Mix) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 4:45 PM Poison Arrow (US Remix) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 4:53 PM The Look of Love (US Remix) ABC The Remix Collection
You know, maybe we got to Iowa somewhere around here, because I remember there was some rush hour traffic and whatnot.
7/30/04 5:14 PM Ocean Blue (Atlantic Mix) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 5:21 PM The Night You Murdered Love (Sheer Chic Mix) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 5:29 PM King Without a Crown (Monarchy Mix) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 5:36 PM One Better World (Garage Mix) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 5:41 PM The Real Thing (Frankie Knuckles Instrumental) ABC The Remix Collection
7/30/04 5:45 PM Telephone Operator Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 5:49 PM If You Ask Me (I Won't Say No) Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 5:54 PM What Was Heaven? Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 5:59 PM You Know Better Than I Know Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 6:02 PM Twilight Shelley, Pete XL1
Iowa really does look like one gigantic Grant Wood painting.
7/30/04 6:06 PM (Millions of People) No One Like You Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 6:13 PM Many a Time Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 6:16 PM I Just Wanna Touch Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 6:19 PM You and I Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 6:23 PM XL1 Shelley, Pete XL1
7/30/04 6:36 PM Telephone Operator/I Just Wanna Touch/If You Ask Me/No One Like You (Dub) Shelley, Pete XL1 Reissue
7/30/04 7:01 PM Foto Stat (Under Exposed Mix) Saint Etienne Bronx Dogs Mixes Promo 12"
7/30/04 7:10 PM Sylvie (Bronx Dogs Mix) Saint Etienne Bronx Dogs Mixes Promo 12"
7/30/04 9:29 PM DJ Yoda & Greenpeace - 22 June 2003 Essential Mix
Are we in Minnesota yet? We are? OH MY GOD
7/30/04 11:48 PM Kleinenberg, Sander - 8 Jun 2003 Essential Mix
WE'RE HOME
Yup.
So other than a few things in the kitchen, our TVs, our microwaves (yes we have ... two) and our closets (which are all in good shape, I hope), pretty much everything that's going is all packed up. Check the progress:
Hey, it's only taken a month. Hahahahahahaha
Anyway, sometime in the next few hours this here eMac is getting unplugged and I won't be around to update this thing for a while, so ... I think that's it until then? Yes. See you in Minnesota!
Love,
Kim
I'm deep in packing madness and just got back from a trip to Minneapolis to see the new house (details ... later?!) and boy, does this page ever look like crap when there's not enough postage on it. So here, take a gander at this bad boy dating all the way back to the nice half of 2001.
Whoo, woo.
Silencio
Silencioooo
Silencioooooooooo
I know, I know, I've been out of it. Anyway, we signed the papers for the movers during the day and it's a done deal, we're out of here on ... the 26th? I think? Holy moly.
I wish I could tell you exciting tales of wonder and amazement but we're too busy trying to pack, or at least thinking about trying to pack. Maybe we've managed to pack maybe 10 boxes so far? I dunno. We've actually been doing a lot of unpacking of old boxes that haven't been opened, throwing stuff away, reorganizing them, consolidating stuff into other boxes, whatever. I'm trying not to make any of this needlessly complicated, but I tend to overthink things like this.
Since I've been so neglectful, here are 10 random observational item-type things.
1) Every time Alton Brown says "flatten your ball" on the "Good Eats" pizza episode, I snicker.
2) I threw away all my post-college issues of Spin and Rolling Stone, or so I thought.
3) I discovered a bunch of them yesterday in a box that hadn't been opened in five years.
4) I threw them away.
5) They magically became un-thrown-away when I wasn't looking.
6) Since he's been on vacation, I miss "Imus in the Morning" on MSNBC like a crazy person.
7) I hate my blogue categories and should probably change them someday, or at least cut 'em in half and ... uh ... recategorize them.
8) My collection of the Kinks on CD sure leaves a lot to be desired (Soap Opera, Preservation Act 1, Preservation Act 2, Come Dancing).
9) I mean, I like those albums and everything, I'd just like to have MORE.
10) I need tranquilizers.
Look at my new little pal! We need to come up with a good name for him, although I keep calling him Schmoopy. I'm not sure it befits him, since that's also what we call my folks' cat. Anyway, the Mr. was a big imp and went and ordered him when I wasn't looking. It's refurbished so it's not like he went COMPLETELY insane or anything. But I'm glad it got here in time as I'm heading to MN in about a week and a half to get acquainted with the new place, and this way I can bring back some video reconnaissance.
We had our first wave of movers come through today for estimates and they all tell us the same thing, that this is like a record amount of crap stuffed into a 2BR apartment. Dudes, duh. It was a surprisingly draining process. After they were done we headed out to get miniDV tapes, a FireWire cable for the new camera, a new battery pack for the kitchen cordless phone (which decided to die at a really inopportune time), plus lunch -- sammiches from Togo's and Slurpees, which we enjoyed during "Passions" of course. I also forgot to mention that the Mr. left his card in the ATM, which sort of took a little energy out of us. Then I just crashed at about 4 p.m. and didn't wake up for another seven hours.
I look around at all the stuff and I just want to fall over. Remind me not to unpack anything once we get there, because we're just going to move it again when we find a house ... eventually. The good news is that when I come back from my factfinding mission in a couple weeks, it'll all be packed up like magic! Right? Right? Hahahahaha ehhhh.
Did you watch the all-"Oz" cast episode of "The Jury"? We have it on tape. I'll have to talk about that show later because right now I need to focusssssss.
So one very saucy and sexxxay soul sent us a box of Sofia Minis that arrived today and we are still so giddy over it. We haven't opened them yet but they're beautiful and surprisingly hefty. I'm going to have to see if we have any straws in the house because it's very important that in the event that I drink sparkling wine out of a can (and that event will happen soon), it's gotta be through a straw. That lady with the presents, she's pretty hot stuff. If you click on the picture, you'll get a sweet shot of the inside of our fridge. That big brown bag is our leftovers from tonight's dinner. (Fried rice and chicken in garlic sauce.) (Delicious.) Check out that pork shoulder, it'll probably take another week for it to thaw. I still don't know what I'm gonna do with it. I'm sure Martha will give me some inspiration.
Anyway, it's good we got these here beverages that are engineered For the Spontaneous Celebration! because they're going to help us spontaneously celebrate our move. We're moving. Moving to Minnesota! We've got a hot place lined up and everything. So I think we've got about a month left in California and then voop we'll be over there. I won't even need to get a new drivers license. This whole thing is a way for me to dodge having to get a CA license, you see. Hahahahaha I kid! No really. Not really? No really.
So! Yesterday (or I guess I should say Thursday) the Mr. and I went out shopping for presents for these kids who are turning 1, because we're invited to a party for 1-year-old twins. That's totally our crowd, obviously. But anyway, we ended up finding the greatest presents ever and quite frankly we would really like to keep them for ourselves. They're sets of Sesame Street car keys on big fake electronic-car-alarm-type keychains, and you press one button and it makes the squeaky "alarm on" noise, then another button has Fun Honking Horn Noises and the last one you press and you get like Ernie saying "Let's roll! VROOM!" or whatever. Oh yeah, and crap lights up too. The arm-alarm and horn buttons are arguably the best, especially when you are trying to get around stupid slow people clogging up the aisles at Toys R Us. It's going to be painful to let them go, but at least we can be happy with our choice of gift for 1-year-olds, and how often does that happen.
When I was searching for a picture, I saw a listing for a "Sesame Street mesh bag" but I read it as "Sesame Street meth bag." I bet those actually exist. If not, I'm certain there is a market for them.
After that we went to Beverages & More, which is apparently known as "BevMo," in search of Sofia Minis, but sadly they were nowhere to be found. We did, however, invest in a giant vat of Southern Comfort, a bottle of Campari and a bunch of little old sodas like Moxie and Frostie Cherry Limeade~~ and whatnot. I'm drinking Campari and orange now and it's taking me back to the days when I would be on antibiotics and I would actually care about not drinking alcohol at the same time, so I'd get Campari drinks. As if they weren't alcohol. That was before I just gave up and drank "actual" booze anyway because honestly, what was the point of trying to not be sick if you can't drink alcohol? That wisdom has served me well to this day. No, really.
Holy crap, VH1 Classic is showing the Belle Stars' "Sign of the Times" video. I'm awestruck.
Hey, you know, I never got around to saying what happened when the building management guy came to visit. I guess it is because it was nowhere near as catastrophic as I was expecting it to be. Long story short, our building is being converted into condos! But we're not in any danger of being thrown out on the street by July or anything, nor are they tearing the place down completely or raising our rent. They're not giving us a set time to get out, but since the places are all being gutted, we've got to get out eventually, even if we decide to buy a unit. Haha "unit," haha.
We played along with the dude even though we have maybe 3% interest in coping with the entire extravaganza. I lobbied for central air (which, inexplicably, they won't install) and better soundproofing. The guy seemed surprised. I was surprised that he was surprised. Hadn't they gotten any complaints about these people? It was my big chance to rat out the neighbors, but I didn't bother, because ... why bother?
I can't even begin to describe how awful our neighbors' behavior is. I mean, it's insane. There are the people next door who used to keep a garbage pail outside their front door where they'd dispose their dirty diapers. Our doors face each other. It wasn't pleasant. (The building manager eventually got them to stop. Now we've found out the building manager has been let go for allegedly "harassing" the tenants. What? Dame she got results.) Since he can't leave his refuse out in public areas anymore, the man of the house has taken to hitting big plastic balls on his back wall with a hockey stick for fifteen minutes, like three times a day, while his baby daughter just sits out there and screams and screams and screams. Then the balls fly over the fence and hit our back wall, or better yet, our windows. And now we've got a collection of his balls in our backyard. Haha "his balls," haha.
Don't even get us started on our upstairs neighbors. When I discovered that the front-to-back-to-front rumbling noises were the result of the children riding their Big Wheels through the apartment, I had to go get the camera to capture the evidence because I am simply that vindictive.
I mean, Jesus. They also like to sweep off their balcony onto our patio. They're top-notch folks, I tell you what.
These are things people just don't do when they live in apartment complexes, or so I thought. But the good news is that we won't have to put up with that nonsense anymore. The bad news is we've got to flipping move first. Attached to that will hopefully be more good news! Watch this space.
So yesterday we drove out to Lodi for the annual Vines to Wines, where basically you drive around to wineries and drink all day. The thing is that you pay out the yin yang for the tickets alone so that should hold you, but we were in a fabulously suggestible frame of mind and ended up coming home with ... 11 bottles. Last year we bought two and even THAT seemed excessive. We didn't even drink either of them until like a week ago! And even then we only drank one. Woo-hoo, party at our place.
We get back here at like 7:45 or something (we woke up at like 8 and started drinking at 11) and between the drinking and the sunshiney sun we completely zonked out until 12:30 today when we got up barely in time to watch the Kings game (woo~~) and all I've had to eat today is a banana and a cup of yogurt, which I chased down with an entire pot of coffee and now I feel completely flipping insane. I should go do pilates because I've got that proper crackhead energy right now.
Tomorrow we're getting a visit from a rep from our building management! He's going to have some FASCINATING news about "the future of this complex"! We're pretty sure we know what it is but I'm not gonna say anything about it until we know for sure. The excitement is just beginning. Eh.
I don't want to talk about the Kings. :'( :'( :'( But I'm optimistic! I really am!!!
So Process Type Foundry, the lovely people who designed the FIG face which you see up on this very page, have updated it! They redesigned the "r" so that it doesn't tip in anymore! It's crazy. But what's lovely is that it's all OpenType now and they allow a full update to purchasers for FREE! That's Minnesota good sense right there. P.S., Who wants to pay $99.95 for a limited noncommercial Movable Type 3.0 license? How about $189.95? I mean really.
I had a screening interview today for a job in MN. It actually sounds like a decent one. It basically sounds like my old boss' job except not involving news or TV or MTV. Which at first I was thinking, "oh no," but then I thought, "oh yes," because did I really enjoy all that stuff that involved news or TV or MTV? Christopher reminded me of that concept. He's really good at doing that. Anyway, we'll see. OPTIMISM!!!
I made a pork roast tonight. I marinated it in soy, honey, ginger and garlic with some sesame thrown in there. Pretty good! I impress myself. Some fresh Brussels sprouts were also available. And delicious beer.
I'm totally craving candy right now.
Oh man, tonight's game almost killed me. Thank God for the win! And the alcohol! There's still one game to go in the series but I'm feeling good about things because we're coming back to Sacramento and really, things couldn't possibly get any worse at the moment.
SUCK IT MAVS WOO WOO
A while ago we bought these simple syrups at Williams-Sonoma, and they rule. Actually I bought them while my husband protested violently. One is flavored with Meyer lemon, the other with vanilla bean, so there are little flecks of vanilla bean all suspended up in it. I figured that I could make some awesome cocktails with them, and today I proved myself right.
First I made a variation Cosmopolitan that was just plain vodka (Skyy), Cointreau, cranberry juice and the Meyer lemon syrup. It ruled. But I used the last of our cranberry juice. Then I made up something that is vanilla vodka (Absolut ... it tastes like marshmallows!!!), orange juice, Cointreau and the vanilla bean syrup. I am now on my second one. This drink rules. I'm telling you, it is unreal. I'm a genius.
I almost don't care about the game today, but I do. The whole reason I started drinking already today was the game, because I was freaking out and throwing newspapers over my head and Christopher said, "You need to be drunk." So I followed his instructions, that's all. The game was bad, though. It was really bad. So I just hope that the Kings were concentrating all their suck into this game and will go crazy insane fantastic for the next two. Yes.
You know how much I hate the Lakers? I hate the Mavericks almost as much. These are my ... my two most hated teams in the universe. I hate them. Steve Nash looks like a frigging serial rapist lizard man. Words can't describe how much I hate him. And Nowitski, eew, forget about it, he is a creepy stalker. Which is only solidified by his "Trophy Love" commercial, am I right people? Yes. The people know. And that frigging thug Najara. Eew girl, eew. I hate that f-er.
While we are on the subject of, um, dudes, it's all over between me and Bobby Flay, just so you know. The reason is here.
Jose Giovanni passed away today of a brain hemorrhage at 80. The only reason I know about him is because he wrote the screenplay for Le Trou, which translates to The Hole. Yes, the entire movie is about digging a hole. I'm not even exaggerating. I think ... Jacques Tourneau directed it? I think that's who it was. (EDIT: Jacques Becker. It was Jacques Becker.) I saw that bitch up in Lincoln Center, on a double bill with John Huston's We Were Strangers, I think, which is the movie that made me fall in love with dead John Garfield. Or maybe that was on a double bill with He Ran All the Way, which also made me fall in love with dead John Garfield. Oh man, I can't remember. I swear I associate We Were Strangers with Le Trou. But I also associate We Were Strangers with He Ran All the Way. It was so long ago. I don't know what to believe anymore. I'll get to the bottom of this eventually. In the meantime, how about a gratuitous image of John Garfield
in his final movie, He Ran All the Way, with Shelley Winters
and, um ... let's go with The Man, Vlade Divac
stop killing me
My word, who knew?
Take the quiz: "Which American City Are You?"
Boston
You are under-world power and old-world tradition. You get the job done and it's better if nobody asks how.
Today we went to OSH to get some new pots for the herbs, so we bought more herbs. Chives! Shallots!!! Flat-leaf parsley!!!!! I actually had to buy a new bag of potting mix. Exciting? Oh yes. Now we're watching "Smackdown" and drinking. This is the life, baby.
So I'm sick. I feel like I'm coming out of a two-day hangover, but really I'm sure it's because I was sitting out on the back stoop Tuesday night in like 40º weather in a T-shirt, yoga pants and bare feet. This is what happens when you drink the equivalent of nine shots of tequila with only one meal a day, I guess. And all that delicious Cointreau. I'm beginning to think that Cointreau does a next-day number on me. But it's so delicious! I can't stop drinking it!!! So that means that just thinking about "American Idol" made my head hurt even worse. I'll catch up on it eventually though.
I meant to write about last weekend, but then everything went haywire and I didn't feel like writing about anything. We saw Kill Bill Vol. 2 on Friday, which is like the first time I've seen a movie the first day it's in theaters since ... I can't remember the last time I've done that, honestly. It was great! Maybe I'll write about it some other time! And then on Saturday we went to Modesto for this football bet dinner that Christopher has with his friends, and there was lots of food and drink and whoa, did I have a lot to drink. I also forgot to mention that I was getting new lenses put in my old frames, but the place F-ed them up and warped some coating on them so they needed to take them back and reorder them and then send them out to another store with a different machine that wouldn't F them up. So since then I've been wearing a prescription that's like five years old. It's GREAT.
Then on Sunday, after Christopher came back from work, it was RAINING and we went to a nursery because they were having a sale on herbs. When I moved here, I got this great herb-growing kit from Martha and it was so much fun and joy to see all the little herbs sprouting and whatnot. But then they would grow all out of control, and then I would invariably kill them, and now I'm too impatient to wait for like three little plants to sprout when we could just go to the nursery and get a big fat pot of 'em for $2 a piece. Which is what we did! We got tarragon, sage, rosemary, oregano, sweet basil, giant basil, thyme, dill, cilantro and garlic chives. They had no regular chives, otherwise we would've gotten those too. And parsley. So I'm growing parsley in my Martha kit. The thyme and rosemary are unbelievable. Like, I developed this hate for rosemary when I worked at Scholastic because the caterers who ran the cafeteria always overloaded everything they made with rosemary and it was disgusting. But I just smell this plant and whoa, it is hot. So yes, that was an exciting development. Also the Kings winning, that was good.
So then we get back and are watching some other playoff game in the living room and the TV dies. Just dies. It's this gigantic Sony Trinitron that Christopher's had since forever. I don't know how big, like 40" or something, but it's huge. It's huge, and now it is dead. He tries to revive it and at some points some sparks come out of a socket, but otherwise it is a lost cause. The funny part is that he had taken my old baby 22" Hitachi to his office and we were trying to figure out where in the house to put it, now that he has to move it out of his office. Well! That solved a problem right there!
So now we've swapped out the giant broken TV for the one he had in the office. Funny how that TV seemed to be ENORMOUS in my old apartment. Here is a photographic depiction of the difference.
I'll point out that the "before" picture was also taken on Christmas Day, which explains all the festive lighting and presents and chilling emotional disparity. There's only room for like one Pokémon on this TV, it's crazy.
So now the smallest TV in the house is in the biggest TV room. Eventually we're going to have to rotate all three TVs, because now the biggest one is in the bedroom and the second-biggest one is in Christopher's office (a.k.a. "the storage room"). Or maybe we'll just move everything out of here into a new place? Who knows.
I have realized that I need to be falling-over-ass drunk during the entire playoffs, because otherwise there is no way I will be able to make it. It is simply too much stress.
Vlade hugging Brad? Excuse me while I pass out.
Before we get into this, just keep in mind that I've had three pint-glass margaritas tonight. Anyway ...
So yeah, things have gotten too crazy up in these parts. I alluded to bad news back here. That was the day we found out that Christopher's job was being outsourced, meaning that as of Cinco de Mayo, neither of us will have any kind of regular employment. Which kind of sucks. Which really kind of sucks. But oh!!! It gets better!!!
Now, today, we've found out that contractors are going to be checking out all the apartments in our complex over the next couple of days, which we know means that management is going to force us out of our apartments. This has been brewing over the last month or so, but we didn't think that anything was going to happen now. We've already seen the new renter sheets that say that they're renting out this same floor plan for what ... $600/month more? $700/month? Something like that. Anyway, since we're now here on a month-to-month basis and no longer protected by a lease, they obviously want us out of here yesterday. So our rent is going up to, like, $2000/month, which wouldn't seem so awful if a) we weren't out of a regular paycheck and b) we weren't living underneath the al Qaeda day-care center, you know what I'm saying? BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG, I swear the ceiling is made out of cardboard. Living in Upper West Side pre-War buildings done spoiled me and we might as well move back into my postage-stamp Manhattan co-op at these prices. But anyway, we're going to be pushed out of here in a couple of months, and neither of us has a real job to keep us here. Which is where things get EXCITING. No they don't.
Christopher has some prospects, and I've applied for like a zillion things and have yet to hear anything back from anyone, which is, like, offensive. I demand respect. My mother (who herself is a human resources professional) says that people are obviously intimidated by my 12 years of NYC professional experience, like they don't want to hire me because I'll make everyone look bad. Which I totally believe, but jeez, why can't I even get a word of acknowledgment back from anyone? The only thing I've ever gotten is a letter back from New Times saying that I was their runner-up for the position of movie reviewer. Movie reviewer!!! I have like two years' experience doing that tops, yet I only get respect from them. This, to me, is unfathomable. I've now applied for about five different jobs at Apple. I've got three resumes pending there for three open Featured Content Manager positions at the iTunes Music Store. Now someone explain to me how I could not possibly be qualified for those jobs. Please, I'd really like to know. Is it because I'd be so fantastic that I'd make everyone else look bad? I guess so, but come on, people, show some flipping guts already. This situation is beyond even me. I mean, really. For real. Come on. This is an abomination.
So now, we've got no employment on the horizon, and no home. WTF, people. I mean, us. You know us, right? This makes no sense. No flipping sense at ALL.
This means, we need to reevaluate our situation up in heres. And, possibly and quite possibly probably, we need to move ourselves up into wherever we will be appreciated.
These are the possibilities.
Taking a break from the computer can be pretty awesome, I should do it more often. The management said they were sending workers in to the apartments so I went a little nuts with tidying up the place and did some major shifting of objects and consolidation of space and whatnot. Plus with the vacuuming and the scrubbing of the floors and once I start I can't stop, but I knew if I turned on the computer, I would drop everything and go back to being lazy. I could not risk that.
I was hoping the workers would come in and be all "Hey, here's a new air conditioner!" but unfortunately they needed access to the crawl space under our apartment, which was a bit of a shock, because we had to do that a few months ago and they gave us advance word then. See, the trap door is in the floor of our bedroom walk-in closet, and the trap door happens to be covered by my old freestanding wardrobe. It can only be removed if you take the door off the closet first. Oh yeah, and you have to take everything out of it and off from the top of it. And then it weighs a zillion pounds (shoutout to my mens at Gothic Cabinet Craft) and it's wedged in there just so to begin with, and you can't get it out of there without one person (my husband) having to contortionate his way under some clothes to go past it and behind it and oh, it's just a mess. So we had to do that again, and then put it back. And we didn't get a new air conditioner, what up with that? But at least the house is neater than it was at the beginning of the week.
This flurry of activity was capped off by a trip to Oakland to see our Sacramento Kings (not) defeat the Golden State Warriors. Somehow we ended up in a section loaded of Kings fans and a few irate Warriors fans. The little girl in front of us, she was probably 12, was continually screeching I love you Miiike! I love you Braaad! I love you Pessshhhaaa! very, very loudly. Sure enough, when she left to go get nachos, that's when the game went all to hell, so I guess there must be something to it. Hmm. I might have to fight her for Brad though.
One person I won't have to fight pretty much anybody for is my man Vlade. My souvenir of the experience is a bunch of tiny, blurry Vlades in my digital camera.
He's the man who makes it all happen. There are lots more pictures of him (and even of other Kings, believe it or not), but I think those up there are enough, really.
These pictures are pretty impressive considering we were way up in the very tip top furthest backest row of the arena. Oh the wonders of modern technology. It was the first time I could get the digital zoom to actually work, it's pretty hot.
Christopher trucked out with some Kings thundersticks that had been left behind. They weren't as loud as he had hoped they would be, so he might have been a little disappointed. Of course, if the Kings had f-ing won it might not have even mattered.
So Easter dinner last night was pretty good. I got started about 11:30 a.m. (Christopher had to work) and I made
If you enlarge it, you will see some exciting detail of our hot midcentury dinette set (that's solid chrome baby), as well as our lovely dinnerware. The plates and the matching platter are all survivors of my great-grandfather's restaurant.
A brief word on the benefits of Le Creuset: I baked the ham in a Le Creuset baker and it took less than a minute to clean it. I'd say it's worth its weight in gold but that cast iron is heavy and the stuff is expensive enough already.
I don't want to talk about what happened Thursday, I don't want to talk about what happened Friday, because today is EASTER!!! I have one thing to say and that is
SUCK IT LAKERS
SUCK IT LAKERS
SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT
Happy Easter! :-*
So I saw footage (I was going to write "b-roll," what a retard) of the incident on Monday that got J-Will suspended and man, he really did go bug-fug bananas. I wonder if he's been ::makes tokey-tokey hand motion:: again since he's been doing all that crazy awesome floppity stuff on the court lately, and now, with this thing, it's like he totally lost it. From the UPI report:
Williams turned around after the call and started shouting at referee James Capers, who quickly called a technical and pointed to the tunnel to signal Williams was ejected. Williams ... wasn't finished arguing. He chased after Capers and ran through several teammates' attempts to restrain him before finally being corralled in front of the scorers' table.
That's a rather mild version of it actually. He was NUTS. Apparently he made contact with the ref in the kerfuffle too, I dunno, I couldn't tell from what I saw, but I haven't yet watched the footage over and over again in rapt fascination. And I can't find a single image from it on the Web anywhere. Not anywhere! If I did, it would probably look something like this one from earlier this season, only with a lot more people holding him back.
CLK2NLRG.
It was rather PG-13 and they don't want to negatively influence the children. But it was ... it was pretty hot actually, for a second there I thought I was watching hockey fight tapes at Jane's.
Oh yes, and violence is wrong, let's increase the peace people. Love, Kim
I haven't had click-to-enlarge picture fun up in here for a while, I need to bring that back right now.
So I could have watched the Grizzlies/Warriors game yesterday afternoon on FSN or something (meanwhile the Kings games are only on NBA League Pass, what, P.S. I hate college basketball) but instead I was sleeping as I had been up all night watching 24 Hour Party People and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos IS Femme Fatale. Apparently J-Will had himself some kind of crazy awesome game or something, so I probably should have watched it, but I didn't! This is all a preamble for this picture from the game.
Yes, "towel3" means I do in fact have two other pictures of him with a towel over his head. Shh. And then there's this one, a classic.
Aww man. Remind me to grab my O.G. J-Will/C-Webb autographed picture out of the living room to scan here. It's not as awesome as a hug from Vlade, but it's close.
SIGNIFICANT WEATHER! NBC11 STORM WATCH! We've got some big storms happening out here and they rule. Except probably not for those people in three feet of standing water and mud in Daly City. Sorry dudes. How does that happen, anyway, getting a house full of mud during a rainstorm? It's not like it's a mudstorm. Oh the mysteries of West Coast life. The flooding, the craziness, it still amazes me. How can one day of heavy rain cause such drama? Aren't there gutters out here? Don't they work? Who engineered this state? Why can't we all live in peace?
Lately whenever I watch "Starting Over" I get the urge to read more books. Like, "Hey, maybe I should finally read John Dewey's Art as Experience like I was supposed to in college," or, "Remember Naomi Wolf? Wow, those were the days," or whatever. I also have a tendency to have six half-read books lying around at any given time because, you know, the adult ADD and all, can't finish anything. But when you're sitting there watching a crazy Mormon girl get a hematoma drained on TV, you can't help but think to yourself, "I really ought to read more books." So when I got sick over the weekend, it was like perfect timing. Before the migraine showed up at the exciting conclusion. But you know, I still got it in there. I finally finished The Group which I totally stalled out on after Christmas. That part that's all about the Prothero family butler, man, that is hard to get through. But I finished it ... yesterday? Monday? Anyway, I completed a task, hooray for me. Not to be outdone, I finally finished Fredric Dannen's Hit Men which I totally stalled out on before Christmas because it's a hardcover and The Group, much more portable for the planes and the whatnot. People in the music business are wack, I'm not sure if you knew that, but that's what you learn in that book. I just finished that like ten minutes ago! Thrilling.
I also applied for that job today, and I signed up for this employment recruitment service thing that's offered by my alumni association. Three years in purgatory, expensive purgatory, has gotta be good for something. Look at me, I'm doing stuff, it's like some crazy new world. And reading, it's the hip new thing. Next on the list is Douglas Coupland's Microserfs at the urging of Christopher. Since I got him to read Ghost World five years ago, I guess I owe him at least that much. Of course that had pictures in it. Pictures of girls. But this has a slick foil cover on it and a guy made out of Legos so I'll call it even.
I have a lot of catching up to do since I got really sick sick sick over the weekend (thanks, WORK) and lost my flizzow with the posting and all. Or maybe I'll use it as an excuse to not catch up? Ooh I like the sound of that.
So I'm applying for a part-time job that I think I have a reasonable chance of a) getting and b) not hating, so I'm taking the opportunity to write a gigantic source resume listing pretty much every job I've ever had ever, no matter how unimportant it seems in my big employment picture, since I can basically tailor my resumes to fit any arts/writing/publishing jobs that come up due to my Vastly Diverse Experience or some such business. I suppose. I feel like I've only had three real jobs since college, but jeez:
This is depressing. Why should I have to look for work? People should be coming to me begging for it or, better still, just giving me money for my awesomeness. I mean, honestly.
It's another slow work day today, which gives me ample opportunity to finally get all my Dylan other than Blonde on Blonde and Blood on the Tracks into iTunes. So far I'm up to ... Highway 61 Revisited. I just got started, obviously.
This task reminded me that I never told you everything I got for Christmas, did I? Oh no, I need to remedy that right now. And since my birthday's right before Xmas, I'll just put it all here. Oh man, look what a lucky girl I am.
I just saw a "Passions" commercial that said MURDER and showed Gwen pushing Theresa through a window. Oh if only, if only.
Andy "this is Andy Paige for Cents of Style" Paige is back on "Starting Over" today and I'm so so happy. She's like the best ever. She is wearing a ludicrous zebra-striped coat and yet she still looks adorable. Oh! Did you know she even has a Web site. Oh man, she just said "Super, I love that," which was what I was about to say. Genius. Jane and I should get her to be on our fabulous TV show about gossip and sparkles and dancing. You know, the show we have created in our minds.
I did a work day yesterday, I'm doing a work day today and I'm working the rest of the week. Money is super, I love that. It's been really slow. Yesterday I stayed up all night before working (I have to start at 6 a.m.) and after I signed off I completely conked out. The weather, it was going crazy. Like the cable provider broke into "Passions" (which I still hate right now) with one of their crazy Emergency Broadcast System EEEEEH EEEEEH EEEEEH alerts for a Severe Thunderstorm Warning. I thought they usually saved those for Amber Alerts at 3 a.m. in order to scare the crap out of me.
Oh my God. They just showed the "surprise leaks and odor" commercial for the product that offers "confident stand-up protection." What. If the FCC wants to do something about decency on TV, start with the disgusting feminine protection and perverted diaper ads already. I can't stand it. And then the one we kept seeing during The Perfect Husband with the graphic depiction of a kid wetting his bed and it's supposed to be CUTE. Sick sick sick sick.
Anyway! Right before I went to sleep, there was a local news special report where the weather guy started freaking out about "significant weather!!!" and then he just cut off and there was dead air and I found it hilarious. There was some wind and some rain and the skies were overcast, what? That is one thing I can't get used to, is how out here rain is like a crazy foreign concept and if it sprinkles a little bit people start like driving off the road if they've even left the house at all in the first place. Well I'm exaggerating. A little. But it is very surprising. This is the first time in my life I've lived without X-treme weather. Am I getting offtrack again? Yes.
So anyway, I totally pass out and get woken up by Christopher coming home, informing me that the power is out. Not just out but OUT, like gone. Like our entire complex is pitch black and interestingly enough, it's the only one in the neighborhood that's out. So maybe it was the storm? Maybe it wasn't? I have no idea. But luckily Christopher had some kind of psychic power because he brought home a pizza (our stove is electric) and also a gigantic family-size vat of Beefeater gin. So it wasn't so bad. Except the power never came back on until Conan started, so we missed both "American Idol" and "24," which is an unfair tragedy of epic proportions. But I'm trying my best to live through the pain, I am.
Oh! So what a lovely weekend it has been, despite the title of this entry. Valentine's Day, first-rate, and today we go to see the WWE No Way Out PPV at the Legendary Cow Palace in beautiful San Francisco, California. Of course what we find out is that apparently there is a reason why the WWE does not have events there with any regularity. We get there like right before the Heat taping is supposed to start and we end up getting to our seats like two matches in after the start of the PPV. There is only one entrance open? And apparently they didn't start letting people in until right before Heat started or something? I don't know, man, that stuff was woo, woo messed up.
Anyway, you know what happens when there are a lot of people trying make their way to an event at the same time, right? Oh no, no. Oh, oh yes! It was Ludacris/Outkast at MSG all over again. So someday, when I am in a positive and healthy enough place to revisit the ordeal, I will recount for you how I barely managed to avoid murdering several children, the appointed guardian of most of those children, a passel of rarified bonafide yuppie douches and a handful of security staff, all because line etiquette just SEEMS to escape MOST people MOST of the time. Oh God. OH GOD.
Well! Other than that, once we got in and into our seats everything was hunky dory, other than this gigantically fat, smelly man that poor Christopher was stuck next to. Oh! The bullets he takes for me. As the Mr. wisely pointed out, fat guys should not wedge themselves into in box seats. AND, as the Mr. wisely pointed out, fat guys should not be sitting in the seat next to the other adults in the row rather than in one of the seats situated between his small children. Are other people retarded? Not just fat people, or children, or yuppie douches, but all other people? I think it's safe to say that the answer is in the affirmative. Other people!!! Who needs them??? OH! WE decided? MY best interests?! So how can you say I'm crazy?! And so on.
But really, it was a fun time!!! Except for the smelly fat guy. I think he was growing new lifeforms in his crevasses.
AND NOW! Here's a fun thing. I took like 70 pictures with my digital camera, most of them with the flash securely off so you will see your favorite Superstars(TM) looking like they do not look in natural nature. There are other ones that aren't so wicked artistic and all, but I thought it would be fun to see if anyone was willing to try to GUESS WHO THEY ARE! And you may click to enlarge them and make them Big All Over (TM).
A. 
B. 
C. 
D. 
E. 
F. 
G. 
H. 
I. 
J. 
K. 
L. 
Apropos of the Paper of Record's latest reporting on John Kerry being a P-I-G pig, here's a blast from the past from my own personal collection. One of these days I'll finally get around to writing my sure-to-be-award-winning essay "The National Enquirer and Me" ...
click to enlarge (you know Gary did)
So the flu has finally done gone and caught up with me. Or at least it caught up with me while we were out shopping yesterday. You don't want to fall victim to the onslaught of a virus in the middle of dinner at Fuddrucker's. Fuddrucker's! I hadn't eaten at one of those since I was like 16, when our party placed its order under the name "Mike Hunt." I'd totally forgotten how the place worked.
Yesterday the Mr. got me the Deluxe Edition of Who's Next which means the time has come for me to finally put my Who collection into iTunes and consequently onto the iPod. I'm doing everything except Live at Leeds for reasons that aren't quite clear to me at the moment. I guess I just don't want to add a live album? Or maybe I'm waiting until I have the Deluxe Edition before I add it? Hmm. But Face Dances and It's Hard, here we come! Was there ever an extended version of "Eminence Front"? If there wasn't, I sure wish there was. Maybe one will show up on a Deluxe Edition of It's Hard someday, 'cause it's sure not on my expanded one. And if Universal is actually putting out crappy Gin Blossoms albums in Deluxe Edition form, I can't imagine why It's Hard wouldn't rate, right? Even if there's not enough stuff to pad it out to two discs. Maybe the second disc could be a 74-minute version of "Eminence Front." I'd pay good money for that. Well, real money anyway.
I went to the Universal Chronicles site (as touted on the packaging -- we also picked up the Deluxe Editions of Diana and Bad Girls, I'm very excited!) to see if they had any other Who repackaging planned and the big thing they're touting on the band's artist page is the imminent release of the My Generation one, which came out in August 2002! Who's getting paid to maintain this crap? I sure do hate the Web sometimes. OK, a lot.
I scanned this to post to the W so I figured I might as well post it here too. A classic. She was such a sweetheart too.
I was going to add the latest installment of my struggles with Panther font management but I didn't even add my last one which was that we got us a hot hot double-pack of my beloved Alsoft Disk Warrior and the mysterious unknown Alsoft Master Juggler at Macworld last month.
(I didn't mention we went to Macworld either? I'm sorry, I've been distracted. I got to play with an iPod Mini. It's adorable and all but dame, 4 GB? That's like for people who don't even like music. I gots over 21 GB of stuff on my 40 GB (his name is Elliott and he is cute) without even hardly trying. My latest adds are Stereolab's Margerine Eclipse, Air's Talkie Walkie and the Franz Ferdinand album. Ooh, Franz Ferdinand, I'll have to talk about them more later. What was that I said about being distracted?)
So Master Juggler, that's font management, though you'd never tell by the name of it. It's a pretty hot setup. It works in the background and doesn't have to be up and active and loaded simply to get the system to cooperate with the system fonts (hey Suitcase 'sup). I can throw a lot of crap in it and it doesn't die? And I can check out samples like in two seconds? What what is it for real? It doesn't make tons of copies of my font files all over the place (I'm telling you, FONT RESERVE, I'm sure I've got at least 2 GB of unnecessary space taken up on my HD from duplicate font files). The only problem is that it's really supersensitive to corrupt fonts which is, naturally, the point and all, except adding one won't necessarily kill it? Yet it will F business up big time if you do something stupid like, say, accidentally click "temporarily activate" when your entire library option is highlighted in the menu. I couldn't get THAT mess sorted out until about 4 a.m. But hey, the interface is delicious (suck it Font Reserve).
Oh! So anyway, the point is that Font Reserve, which I'd actually bought and paid for a few years ago and dearly beloved until it went haywire with Panther, finally put out a Panther-compatible update, which I've been whining about since November. I should say "purportedly compatible" because I gave the upgraded Suitcase a trial shot and that don't work for crap either. I downloaded it for the sake of having it but I don't think I'll be using it. What do you mean this isn't interesting? Hmm you're probably right. Anyway, that was my followup. And Alsoft makes good things for Mac users. Yay!
Another thing I never followed up on was my plaintive plea on December 14 for a Saint Etienne Christmas 2003 EP. Not only does Christopher manage to finagle me a real live copy in beautiful pristine unplayed condition, but he got it here, from the U.K., in time to give it to me on Christmas Day. Breathtaking genius. I don't know how he does it, but how awesome is it that he does.
It looks like this
and it's great.
