Chris: "Why is 'David' bigger than my name?"
Me: "There were three of them and one of you."
The distinctive presence of "inappropriate" renders the following especially hilarious:
THANK YOU EL FANO :-*
When I see something like this, I think maybe I shouldn't be so down on this season after all:
Gettin' it! RROWR! Apparently he's kinda back to being all feisty and awesome, and not just in my personal sense which is blind to all fact, evidence and reality. Now maybe if we got more than like five televised games here I'd know better.
So how good were those tickets?
Um ... they were really good. Like that close to the action there, really good. Because I took that picture!
And this one
And this one
And this one
Those are not cropped, people. Those are, in fact, stone cold uncropped.
By the time we got around to buying those tickets, which were incidentally Row 3 VIP section behind the Kings bench (oh man), they were another $40 less each, right, and could we say no to that? No, truthfully and in actuality, we could not. On top of that the tickets were even better than I was expecting, and for $129.95 a pop I would be expecting a lot, even going into it knowing I would be able to hear Brad curse swears in person with mine own ears. Like once you fly first class you never want to fly coach again? This is how I must watch basketball from now on, every day. Seriously, I'd even go see the shitty Wolves play every other shitty team in the NBA with these seats. It was FUN. The Kings INEXPLICABLY (or explicably) LOST, but it was still fun.
Could this be a reason why it was fun?
Aw jeez. How many times did I say to Chris, "I can't stop staring at Brad. Is that awful?" and he's like "No! It's GREAT!"
He may have been a little sarcastic. Mike Bibby, on the other hand, knew better.
Yeah, yeah, taking too many pictures, I know. But if it's wrong to get excited about seeing your team (even if not especially when your team is battling for the ultimate dominant supremacy at the butt-ass bottom of the league), my God, I don't want to be right. I could have spent that $259.90 on hard drugs or psychotherapy (or giant sparkly earrings, MIKE BIBBY), I mean, come on!
Anyway, spending way too much money on really good seats to a Professional Sports Event? Totally worth it. Totally. Thank you, Minnesota Legislature, for bringing legalized scalping ticket brokering to our fair state!
Q: Is $340 a small price to pay to be within gawking distance of this man?
A: YES. YES IT IS.
Of course we're talking $170 per but I need the Mr. there to keep me in line. Clearly.
ALSO: The return of Ron-Ron after a seven-game suspension. NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY
P.S., Beno Udrih, I have no idea who you are, but I think I love you.
The real tragedy of my working 11-hour days is not manifested in my general feelings of fed-upedness but in the fact that I have not, until now, been able to address what is truly one of the most remarkable and baffling sartorial developments of the modern age:
Yes. What you see up there is what it is. Really.
Respected academic Tom Feely IMed me with this information yesterday and I thought it must have been a hilarious joke. "Ha ha," I said, "this must be a hilarious joke." But then I realized it was so hilarious it had to be true, for Feely would not joke about such things, or at least not IM me out of nowhere to joke about them. Clearly this was serious as a heart attack and I needed to be warned.
So then I went to Sactown Royalty and SLAM Online for confirmation and I was like GAAAAAAAH.
While at first I believed he was in a new-season makeover competition with Sean Avery, the play by play experts in the clip below trace this development back to his winning a bet, which then naturally begs the question of what would have happened if he lost.
See the magic in motion!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but it looks like it's just on the top of his head, right? So he could put on a hat and cover it up for FRESH LOOKS both on court and off. For real! Someone should send that tip in to Blueprint.
You know something, I'm strangely getting used to it because I am just that sad and insane, but then I see Brad's official NBA mug was finally released and I get a little sad and wistful for what once was, largely because for some reason he's reminding me of Elliott Smith here. I dunno. Cross your eyes a little, you'll see it.
It's become abundantly clear that I need to rethink my categories. Thank you, Brad's hair, for motivating me.
The good people at Basketbawful know what time it is. Oh yes.
I really should have rounded up my reminiscences of media days past:
2006: Offending the laws of space and time
(I never DID follow up on my threat to further discuss this, did I?)
2005: Caesar bangs make baby Jesus cry
2004: I'm sorry, did I wake you?
I haven't seen any more new pictures for this year yet. I'm WAITING.
IT BEGINS
Sacramento King Justin Williams, left, gives teammate Brad Miller a hard time about his unkempt hair Monday during media day at the Kings' practice facility. (SacBee)
MEDIA DAY
MEDIA DAY
MEDIA DAY
MEDIA DAY
I want pictures now. Now now now now NOW. Clearly Brad is taking his disheveledness game to new heights JUST FOR ME and I am incapable of waiting to feast my eyes on the results. IT'S WHAT I CRAVE.
It may also be that I have a horrible bacterial respiratory infection on top of a "really nasty" (quote my doctor) respiratory virus and am taking all kinds of crazy drugs I really shouldn't be taking. And still going to work. What? Exactly.
Oh Brad. Jesus be a center part. I beg.
EDIT: Oh. My. GOD.
HOLY MOLY. What the hell happened? Where am I? What is that? Wait, I know what that is. That is extraordinary!
All Brad lacks is a handlebar moustache, some pinstripes and a damsel in distress to chain to some train tracks. Or--OR!--a cowboy hat and a bank train to hijack. Yes. YES. This is on some insane Christian Bale making questionable yet fascinating choices for a role next-level action, frightening weight loss and all.
And did he shave a stripe across his chin? Seriously, I'm asking, because that's what it looks like. GENIUS.
Maybe it's the hard prescription drugs talking, but I am so proud of this guy. Oh man. I can't wait to see what's next.
It takes a great man to snap me out of four full months of hiding. Yeah you know it.
VLADE!
I have that jersey! The J-Will 2000-01 special, anyway. While I do have a Vlade jersey. It is not a Kings jersey. It is quite frankly the most badass jersey of them all:
Eee, look how skinny!
VLADE!
I'm just gonna keep posting pictures to make up for lost posting on this page. My nav needs to be on the RIGHT side of the page, people. One man in a cuddly sweater can make that happen:
VLADE!
This post is not a celebration of my everyday Vlade worship, that which consumes my life on an hourly basis, but rather a celebration of he whom no less than Chris Webber calls "the best man I have ever met" upon his official retirement and initiative launch to house refugees, adopt orphans, teach people to be awesome and Lord knows what else in the name of all that is good and great, including coaxing Scot Pollard out to Serbia to rock a crazy beard with his tux:
Humanitarna organizacija Divac
Može353 i ti (You Can Too)
Vlade Divac, Serbia's Gentle Giant
Divac Creates New Team
Divac's You Can Too NBA.com Photo Gallery
The Magic of Vlade as Told in More Photos at NBA.com
Dude, there's a VLADE MUSEUM. Are you shitting me?! I know where I'm heading after I get a passport.
Before I go, here is one last loving look at a great man with a great gift for greatness:
VLADE!
You're welcome.
KINGS WIN. KINGS WIN. TWO IN A ROW BABY. THREE OUT OF THE LAST uh FOUR. REBUILD THIS TEAM RON ARTEST USING YOUR MIGHTY POWERS and also a hammer.
I'm gonna celebrate. Like this!
For all the sadness the Kings bring me this season, it is a joy to celebrate the awesome when it comes along, even if it is only hair-related.
Ron Artest, you are the best in the biz.
Brad is back and he brought a haircut with him. THANK GOD.
Speaking of back, I'm back from out of town, but I'm still out of it. Why am I awake? What am I doing here? I've just got to make it to winter break. A real winter break. I love when offices do that. I love that my office does that. I hope your office does that too, and if they don't I wish they did. I'm full of good feelings for life and living and you and me and God and the Bible. It must be Brad's haircut.
Maybe this is something everyone has seen already and I'm just late to the party, but if it is, I don't care, because it is mesmerizing and awesome and I want to keep it with me forever.
I can't stop watching it. Oh man. Thank you Albert.
I got really sick last night and stayed sick today. Tomorrow is going to be a rather "involved" day so I better shape it up.
The Kings won, so I guess it all evens out. I love Ron Artest. Kevin Martin continues to be the future of basketball. Brad, uh, what can I say about Brad.
League Pass actually showed us the local Kings community service promo during the game, which was Brad doing this remote control monster truck thing with a bunch of kids who were all like, "He's so tall!" The title up there comes from this retardo song that was playing in the background. Thankfully I can't remember how it goes anymore, because it was stuck there for a while.
I was on the bus home tonight and taking notice that my Sidekick screen, while still far from OK, was looking dramatically less horrible than it had the night before. Then the backlight winked and flickered and went out and it has yet to return. Boo, or should I say "boo." I think my Sidekick is H-H-H-HAAAAAUNTED.
The Kings are here in my city but I'm here in my house and not there at the game. Brad is having an off night and it's clearly because he's wondering where I am so he can tell me to lay off his hair. (By the way, I figured it out: He's growing it out? I think. I'll expound on this later. Don't think I've forgotten this. I could never forget.)
Kevin Martin is like a BAT. One of the commentators just said "He looks like El DeBarge," and now I'm laughing.
We turned to watch the beginning of the Sonics opener during the commercial break. They were introduced to "Run Like Hell." This is also hilarious, much like the Heat getting their rings to the Rod Stewart version of "This Old Heart of Mine," because if any song is gonna pump you up it's THAT. I hope the Mavericks stop coming out to "Eminence Front" for how dare they steal my song.
I really can't stand the Timberwolves, and they're probably going to win this game now, and Mike Bibby got ejected for yakking at the refs (by logic of which Kevin Garnett would have been ejected in the first quarter) and I can't stop making Eddie Griffin jokes and I hate. I don't hate Eddie Griffin jokes, though. They're always funny. Much like yellng "OHHHHH DONALD" every time you see Pau Gasol rocking the beard.
I opened a rather extravagantly priced bottle of icewine yesterday and I believe the right to finish it off has been earned. I'll save some for Brad--someone tell him to come over.
Andrew Bogut is wearing a Flashdance headband, I swear:
See? That's truth.
But did she ask him about his hair?
Because seriously, I can't concentrate on anything else. It's a question that needs answering. That, young lady, is the foundation of good journalism.
(I LOVE how she looks completely judgmental and may quite possibly be sucking her teeth, though. "Nuh-uh. That is not working. Hmm-MMM. No, son.")
Perhaps you could say I've been distracted, or maybe even BUSY, or creatively bankrupt (I'd say you could certainly say that); or maybe I was sick (check) and then I had an anniversary (yay!) and also just whiling away the days until the arrival of NBA MEDIA DAY! a.k.a. Christmas in October.
Then, THEN, I'm presented with a hairstyle that is engineered only to offend the laws of space and time. Yes, Brad is a genius in his ability to find new ways to look confounding on media day. He truly outdid himself this year. And because his hair DEFIES EXPLANATION, guess what? I'll explain it later. Touché, Mr. Miller. Touché.
In the meantime, reminisce with me on the 2K5. (I'm also working on a special secret Media Day project.) (SHH! It's a secret.) (Also, by "working on" I mean "imagining in my mind," but it'll be worth it.) (I promise.) (If I ever do it.)
Hey look! VLADE!
LOOK! VLADE! Giant Vlade with tiny tiny people. I screamed a little. Eee!
Also this game took about five years off my life, but it may have been worth it. I mean look at that. How did that go in? How?!
I love these Kings. Love them love them love them.
I'll catch up on Idols one of these days, I promise. There are some outfits we need to discuss.
Today was kind of a drag, because each day I work a 9-hour shift and get paid for 8 hours of it -- you know, they tell me I get a break and all that but I never take it -- and somehow I ended up working like 11.5 hours straight. And I don't get paid for that, mind, and won't. I don't get comp time, I don't get overtime, and the work I did is certainly all for nothing. And now I'm allowed a generous one-day weekend before I'm back in the office Monday morning after losing an hour to daylight savings.
The sad, sad irony of it all was wearing this T-shirt today. Someone send me back to hustla school.
The good things: Tomorrow is WrestleMania Sunday, so the house is full of WrestleMania snacks. Chris is making some kind of crazy thing in the crock pot for tomorrow and he has provided me with Dutch Crunch and Oreos. This house is LOUSY with Dutch Crunch and Oreos. Spectacular.
Another good thing is KINGS WIN KINGS WIN. WE'RE #8. PLAYOFFS BABY PLAYOFFS. Brad, once again, exhibiting signs of a playoff beard. My stress is lifting just looking at it. You can't see it in this picture, but he's standing next to ICE CUBE!
Oh, OH, and then "Liza With a Z" tonight. It was beautiful. I got to say FOSSE! a lot while watching it, which I always enjoy. AND! she had the most fabulous fake lashes and I sat mesmerized, coveting them. Obscenely long ones.
Suitably inspired, I put on my most outlandish set of lashes (Shu Uemura #79!) and now I'm sitting here in my in my slippers and crazy lashes watching Superman II. C'mon, people, where the party at?
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
DO THE DANCE MIKE BIBBY DO THE DANCE
I FINALLY SEE THE KINGS WIN ON MY TV
WHAT A NIGHT
AWESOME SHAREEF AWESOME
BRAD, YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS YOU
BIBBY IS CLUTCH
VLADE!!!!!!!!!!!
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK LUKE WALTON FOR HIS TREMENDOUS CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE KINGS' WIN TONIGHT
THANK YOU KINGS
THANK YOU WORLD
THANK YOU
Alas, the trucker 'stache is back. The hot playoff beard I was hoping for turned out to be a means to this sad, sad end.
Sure, the Kings actually won a game, but at what price, people.
I'm scandalized and, quite possibly, traumatized.
See, this is a far preferable Brad image option, what with him sitting all gigantic in a tiny chair, bringing the knowledge to the young people. And the hat? It works and you know it. But oh, this is so wrong. Look how uncomfortable he is there. He knows I'm watching.
How could a new NBA season get started without me addressing the Brad on the Media Day? Some mysteries cannot be explained. Do you know how sick I am? SICK, people. I have an inhaler. AN INHALER. I should next get braces and an elastic band to keep my glasses on my head.
Also, I have no sick time left at work, which is FANTASTIC that I can sit there and sniff and cough and be a general nuisance all day long.
For that reason, the inhaler is excellent for possibly one reason and one reason only: the drama.
Person X: Kim, did you get that e-mail ...
Kim: [SHAKES INHALER WITH GUSTO]
Person X: ... about the project ...
Kim: [INHALES VIGOROUSLY]
Person X: ... that we need to complete today?
Kim: [EXHALES] I'm sorry. You were saying?
It's the accessory of the future. I highly recommend it.
I'm sorry. I was saying? Oh yes, MEDIA DAY. Puffy, bleary-eyed and wildly inappropriate, the Brad did not disappoint this year.
The chair picture. THE CHAIR PICTURE. It haunts me. Jane is so wise when she says the least the Kings could do is find a media day photographer who can manage to say, "Work it." There is no working here. When I said he looked like he'd just woken up in his pictures last year, clearly he set out to show me up. I've been shown, and I'm sorry.
"Oh no, that angle is inappropriate ... and I'm looking!" Jane again and right again. Plus the picture was bigger on kings.com. Much much bigger. Everything about that picture is ... inappropriate. And I'm looking!
Whew, this is better. While the "whisper to me words of wisdom, ball" pose is questionable, at least he looks a little angry about it. By the way, if you find the Olan Mills style of basketball portrait posing hilarious, may I direct you to the following outstandingly awesome images.
It's almost as if the Milwaukee Bucks' photographer said, "Please, for the love of God, don't work it."
I'd be remiss not to mention the headband once again masks the Caesar bangs. You say, "Oh no, not the Caesar bangs!" I say, sadly, oh yes.
Caesar bangs make Baby Jesus cry! He shaved his head for opening day, though, which is a grand relief. My silence was sending a message. Although it really was that I was just sick and lazy, but in my sick lazy head, I knew he knew I was watching.
Besides, that's an awesome Enrique Murciano Jr. smirk he's got going there, which can pretty much make up for any and all sartorial crimes. A remarkable effort. A+
You can take Mario Vasquezberlake out of "Idol," you can dump Christina Applegate from "Sweet Charity," but oh no, you mustn't do this.
SACRAMENTO, CA -- Sacramento Kings center Brad Miller suffered a non-displaced fracture of his left fibula Saturday. The fracture was confirmed by x-rays taken at the UC Davis Medical Center. The injury took place while Miller was going through light shooting drills during practice. It is expected to take approximately four to six weeks for the bone to heal. (kings.com)
In Big B parlance, "My heart is broke."
:'(
Whoa.
P.S. Kings 101, 76ers 99, hahahahaha woo.
This doesn't just give me The Rage, this gives me The Rage: Carrie 2.
ESPN.com - NBA - Kings ready to end Webber era with 76ers deal:
The Sacramento Kings have completed a deal that will send Chris Webber to the Philadelphia 76ers, two league sources told ESPN Insider Chad Ford.
The Sixers would send Kenny Thomas, Corliss Williamson and Brian Skinner to the Kings in exchange for Webber, Matt Barnes and Michael Bradley.
I don't understand how, if Peja and Webber are having a problem, you get rid of the one who's actually producing, even if he only has one leg. And Matt Barnes?! You've gotta be kidding me?! He's practically awesome. I don't even know what reasoning they could give that could make me feel good about that.
Are there gonna be riots? I imagine there are gonna be riots.
Well, at least now C-Webb will be closer to J-O-D. Hahahahaha. Ohhh nonononono. :'(
For Good Times
and Great Oldies
... Oh Man This Sucks
Sup nerds!
It's been a while but I've been WORKING and also I've been liking working. Yeah I said it. Just wait until I start getting paid so I can blow it all on a Hermés Birkin bag. Being around my mom has made it unhealthy for me to be aware of consumer options regarding purses on a regular basis.
I went and did karaoke tonight and GUESS WHAT I DID.
I was going around trying to find a gratuitous glamour shot of Brad Miller in order to do what catchin' up and all the photos from the game tonight against the Knicks are like total open dunk shots. My God, they make it so easy.
Instead, how about this gratuitous smiley shot. That's what America, nay, the world needs right now. Smiley Brad. Without the crazy hillbilly biker moustache.
<-----------(crazy hillbilly biker moustache)
Hi! Sup nerds. So Chris got a job and he starts on Monday. With that in mind we went and did KARAOKE since who knows when we will be able to do that again with any authority or Taste for Fun. What did I do?
I should have other things to talk about, and I do, but I don't right here. It's just one of those things. Oh! You know something, you should go read Scott Christ's The 2004 SC 100, which even if you don't watch or pay attention to wrestling ever, is still a very entertaining and enlightening read. Because honestly, who even writes anything intelligent about wrestling anymore? Practically no one other than Scott and Cubs. These guys, they mean it. They keep the fires burning and whatnot, and in an even more awesome way than REO Speedwagon.
The Kings are here. If not tonight, then later today. Oh man! My husband was talking me into letting him assist me in stalking a certain member of my favorite team. Which is adorable. But I can't take him up on it, because already tonight he demonstrated his majesty by taking me on a trip to Costco and buying me a) pills and b) booze. My two favorite things. And I'm not even exaggerating.
This is what we came home with.
Hahahahaha awesome.
The NBA schedule-maker did Kings center Brad Miller a solid. The team plays back-to-back Friday and Saturday nights in Minneapolis and Indianapolis, respectively, and then is idle until Tuesday night in Milwaukee. So Miller and Greg Ostertag - is there an outdoors program in need of a couple of 7-foot hosts? - plan to go hunting Sunday.
"We're off all day Sunday and there will be no cell phones," Miller said. "Yeah, I'm going to take Greg with me. Nobody is going to be able to find me unless they know."
(Sacramento Bee: Kings Notes)
FINALLY. It's the League Pass commercial featuring my "favorite fantasy player," heh heh heh. I'm sorry, that's terribly inappropriate. Anyway, I finally managed to dupe it off the DVR cache before I changed the channel and lost it forever (which has happened). It sure took long enough; they practically never show this one. And it's the BEST ONE.
click to open movie in a new window
Note the Vlade poster under Brad's nameplate.
I compressed it into a tiny .mov, but I'll probably get around to making a better copy for the Web later. Not like anyone cares about this other than oh, me. But it's so delightful, I have to share it.
Oh man, Thanksgiving karaoke, what happened.
This was the night of me doing songs where the groups' names were all messed up in the book, as in "We Live" and "Nobb, D." I wish they had "That's the Way of the World," that song makes me cry a little.
Tomorrow night (I mean TONIGHT) it's KINGS AT LAKERS BABY. Vlade vs B-52. EROTICA. ROMANCE. I'd like to put you in a trance/ All over. Oops, sorry, I got a little distracted there for a sec.
What was uglier, the Pacers/Pistons Brawl 4 All
or the Mavs uniforms designed by P. Diddy?
Oh ho ho I kid. OR DO I?! Anyway, never in my life have I seen such blatant disrespect for beverages and snack foods of all kinds. Poor Ron Artest. You could tell he was trying so, so hard to stay out of trouble, just like Gamera. And now I have infinite respect for Jermaine O'Neal after he completely flew out of nowhere and duh-ropped that guy who got onto the floor. Also entertaining was the studio commentary, where the prevailing attitude was that the fans were asking to get pounded on extra-hard ("Real men don't attack from behind! What a shameful display!") until they remembered to think of The Children, which meant, of course, that the fans deserved to get pounded on for behaving like chickeny girls in front of The Children. And you know, that's logic I can agree with.
BILL WALTON: 'I AM DEVASTATED'
Now there's nothing but "back ... and to the left" coverage on SportsCenter. Jeez, I reminisce about an NBA skirmish of old and look what happens.
All this got me so hopped up that I could barely concentrate on the big Kings/Grizzlies matchup I was PUMPED and GEEKED for. The game was fairly predictable in that the Kings blew a 16-point lead to a phenomenal degree, but then the Grizzlies inevitably collapsed deep into the fourth quarter to give the Kings a two-point win. So everyone was in their element, pretty much.
Brad had an uneventful night. Webber did the job for both of them. J-Will, he had a pretty good night. Oh wait, that means it's time to catch up with an ARCO Arena-sized edition of
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
Honestly? I thought it looked good tonight. It's starting to look natural to me. Now where's my drink?
OK, so the Bulls were leading by one at the half and that made me cry a little, but I should not have feared, because the Kings are now 4-4! 4-4! .500 baby! What would Jesus do? Connect on six of ten from downtown, that's RIGHT, Mike Bibby! Tune in to ESPN on Friday when the Grizzlies meet the Kings! J-Will Hair Watch 3000 collides with the Gargantuan Foxiness of B-52! Caution, I sense SEXCAPADES may be afoot!
So tonight we did the karaoke. OMG what happened.
P.S., I have to be terribly proud of myself because I had blanked "Shiny Happy People" out of my mind so completely that I was left singing a totally backwards atonal version of it that had no resemblance to the original whatsoever because I could not remember it at all, and I was trying even. Of course afterward it all suddenly came rushing back to me so now I am cursed to have both my backwards atonal version and the actual version of it running through my head at all hours of the day. What was it, ten years without having that song polluting my consciousness? It was a good run.
Oh yes, my children. Kings are 3-4, two in a row over 1) creepy lizard man Steve Nash and the Suns and 2) the Nuggets (or the Nuggs, as they are known in this house for inexplicable reasons). It all turns around NOW!
Last night saw the triumphant return of Smiley Laugh-y Brad, and it was breathtaking. Although I do so enjoy About to Beat Somebody's Ass Brad. He has so much going for him. Oh! Also NBA-TV got around to finally showing his version of the League Pass commercial, where he's unconsciously rocking back and forth in his chair while he talks just like I do when I'm feeling especially autistic. I'll have to get that out of the DVR and into my computer one of these days. If they ever get around to showing it AGAIN, that is.
Also, how did the Grizzlies manage to blow a 21-point lead in the fourth quarter against the Sonics? Let's find out with the help of
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
The bangs. My God, look at the bangs.
The Kings are now 1-4. I hate it. The Sonics game was brutal. I'd go as far as to say it was F-ing brutal. We kept watching it in the distant hope that Brad Miller would finally snap and beat the crap out of somebody, because there were plenty of people who were asking for it, but alas, it was not meant to be. It almost would have made up for the loss. Almost. It was fun hearing his cursey swears go over the air on ESPN, though.
But their spirit will never be broken. Excuse me while I go weep in the corner for a bit. I should look for good things to say, though. The game Tuesday night was really awesome! There, I said it.
Hey, guess who led his team to their first win of the season, over the Lakers of all people? Six assists, 17 points, that's right baby, it's time for
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000
Rrawrrr! Ooh! Feelin' it! While the overall effect was much greener on the TV, it's clear that his head is looking more and more like our dish-scrubbing brush with each passing day. Not even remotely sexsational. D-
The Kings are off to a blazing 0-2 start after closing out the preseason with a delightful 2-6 record, their worst showing since 1994. I miss Vlade. It kills me. I watched the game tonight and it was like, Let's just give the Spurs 50 second-chance points! Yay! I then tuned in to Lakers/Jazz on the off chance that Vlade was there (nope, he's still injured) and goodness, people sure don't like that Kobe fellow.
I also caught a bit of Wizards/Grizzlies, which gave me an idea for an important new feature ...
J-WILL HAIR WATCH 3000!
Hmm yes, it still terrifies. Michael Ruffin is actually holding a mirror there, see, which explains the look of horror. So that's what it looks like when I don't touch up my roots, he thinks. I must rectify this immediately.
In the meantime, give it up for my creepy hair. What what!
I need some work so's I can buy League Pass. They're giving me that free taste this week and I don't think I can live without it.
[Brad Miller] was asked Tuesday in Fresno, where the Kings played the Lakers in an exhibition, about the perception of tension between him and [Chris] Webber.
Shaking his head, Miller was succinct.
"All I want to say is (expletive) that," he said. "(Expletive) them. (Expletive) everybody. That's (expletive)."
And so on: Chemistry woes? Miller swears it's not an issue (Sacramento Bee)
Haha, he SWEARS it's not. Get it? SWEARS? Ohohohoho. In other news, "Expletive everybody" might just become my new catchphrase.
I should be paying more attention to the "Arrested Development" marathon than I am, since we really have no business dropping Real Money on the DVDs on Tuesday. I'm all about the Hot Cops.
This is a sick house. We're both sick, so sick. Sick sick sick. We haven't left the house for days. Combine this with the INSANE fresh paint fumes from the stairwell (the guy finally finished the job today) and it is a wonder we are not hallucinating faeries and gnomes running around the house. Well, I guess I'm only speaking for myself. But it's not like I can smell much of anything, yet I am experiencing an overwhelming chemical sensation in my respiratory extremities when I breathe. This must be what carbon monoxide poisoning is like. I wish we could open the windows and get some fresh air but hey guess what? It's 38º outside. And raining. I don't think asking for pneumonia is a good idea.
Tonight is the second Kings/Rockets game in China. The first one was fun, even if the Kings lost, but winning wasn't the point and all that. Plus if the Rockets lost, the crowd would have been so sad. And we don't want that. I hope I can manage to be awake when it's on.
This is all exciting news, I know. Eh. I got nothing, but holy crap, check out Brad Miller on a camel.
