LOOK! VLADE! Giant Vlade with tiny tiny people. I screamed a little. Eee!
Also this game took about five years off my life, but it may have been worth it. I mean look at that. How did that go in? How?!
I love these Kings. Love them love them love them.
I'll catch up on Idols one of these days, I promise. There are some outfits we need to discuss.
I can do this one! It requires almost NO effort! It also probably requires me to be 15 years old, but whatever. Thank you, Scott.
1.) Put your music player on shuffle
2.) Press forward for each question.
3.) Use the song title as the answer to the question.
4.) Don't be petty enough to cheat on something as ridiculous as an online "meme" determined completely by chance, please.
1.) How am I feeling today?
"The Village Green Preservation Society" by the Kinks
2.) Where will I get married?
"Always ... " by Claudia Brücken
3.) What is my best friend's theme song?
"New Brat in Town" by the Auteurs ... hahahaha
4.) What is/was high school like?
"Charading Chauffeurs in Wait" by Ennio Morricone
5.) What is the best thing about me?
"Lanternlight" by Peter & the Wolves
6.) How is today going to be?
"Lovin' Him Was Easier" by Arthur Lyman -- oh, my
7.) What is in store for this weekend?
"No Rainbows for Me" by Saint Etienne (I swear this is totally random)
8.) What song describes my parents?
"Time Out From the World" by Goldfrapp
9.) How is my life going?
"Naughty Boy" by Ron Rogers
10.) What song will they play at my funeral?
"Hi-Lili, Hi-Lo" by the Alan Price Set -- OMG
11.) How does the world see me?
"Green Typewriters I" by the Olivia Tremor Control
12.) What do my friends really think of me?
"Against the Sky" by Vashti Bunyan (that's DEEP, man)
13.) Do people secretly lust after me?
"Love Removal Machine" by the Cult -- ahahahahaha
14.) How can I make myself happy?
"Let's Do the Latin Hustle" by Klaus Wonderlich & His New Pop Organ Sound. YES.
15.) What should I do with my life?
"Roller Girl" by Anna Karina and Serge Gainsbourg (it's like I'm SAYING.)
16.) Will I ever have children?
"Tut, tut, tut, tut (Busy Signal)" by Gillian Hills
17.) What is some good advice?
"The Further I Slide" by Badly Drawn Boy
18.) What do I think my current theme song is?
"Writing Wrongs" by the Monkees
19.) What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
"Point Me at the Sky" by Pink Floyd -- hahahaha
20.) What type of men/women do you like?
"Un jour comme un autre" by Brigitte Bardot
21.) Will you get married?
"Sunrise at Kowloon" by Les Baxter
22.) What should I do with my love life?
"Why Should I Cry Over You?" by Frank Sinatra ... well I'll be.
24.) Where will you live?
"Kino" by Cabaret Voltaire
25.) What will your dying words be?
"Another Satellite" by XTC. Whoa.
I'm a little frightened.
Yeah-huh. Really? You don't say.
I worry. I picked up the phone. I made calls. We will see what happens later.
I don't know how much time I can spend on this because little did I know Queen plus Idol would only amount to a soul-crushing, demoralizing experience I do not wish to relive.
Including this lady sitting there glowering in the flashback to the rehearsals. It's just a sad, sad situation. Oh man, remember back in March? Those were good times, March. We had a lot of fun then.
Seriously, the only fun thing this entire week was watching Ace get dissed repeatedly by Brian May.
This was not alarmingly horrible, but apparently you need to be alarmingly horrible to stay on this show. Bye dude! I don't understand how it's apparently a GIGANTIC STRETCH to make "Fat Bottomed Girls" sound "country." I guess that's like how it's an uncompromising creative artistic breakthrough to pattern your arrangements off crappy Live records. Ugh. I'm tired of this show.
Speaking of ugh, UGH. This guy. F this guy. Hahaha dissed by Brian May, delicious. He wouldn't even give up either! Nice attitude, tiger. Go get 'em. This was me during the whole thing: "Nice choker." "Nice pants." "Nice eyeliner." Repeat. This entire mess makes me want to scream WHYYY WHYYY like Nancy Kerrigan. I can't take much more of this.
Compared to Ace this was like Janis at Monterey. Hahahahahahahaha oh I fell over, sorry. I didn't hate this as much as it really deserved me to hate it. Did that make sense? Her outfit was hilarious. That Warrior of the Lost World bike cop look is so hot right now. Or perhaps, should I say, WOLVERINES! I'd blow myself up rather than get molested by this show any further. Not even I can keep up with my train of thought anymore, I apologize. I need a vacation from myself -- I just realized this. Thank you, Idol.
I must admit I really enjoy "Innuendo" and firmly believe Tool and their ilk owe their entire existence to "Innuendo," so I was kind of like, "oh wow, 'Innuendo,'" but give me a small break because since everyone seems to think they've never heard this song ever in their lives then I suppose there is no challenge in making it "rock." This whole thing was a tragedy. AUGH. What was he wearing, Stabbing Westward-brand Garanimals? That was not cute. P.S. Maybe Queen never did this song live because oh, maybe the band's lead singer was ALMOST DEAD when it came out, and then he, oh, maybe he DIED. Paula, you are older than I, you should remember this. She is lucky that TVs do not yet offer interactive stabbing technology, because this made me feel incredibly stabby.
Bleah. Nice Knots Landing look there, chief. I guess we dodged a bullet by her not doing "Don't Stop Me Now" as her drunken stumblebum spazz "dancing" would have sent me over the deep end.
This dude still rules and WTF does he end up in the bottom three with crappy crappy SHIT ACE and then the dude who loses? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN IN AMERICA, HOME OF THE BRAVE. People got no appreciation. I was a little sad when he said he had never heard of "Somebody to Love" because hello, it's only "Somebody to Love." ALSO that ahem according to his questionnaire on the Idol site, he indeed owns Ladies and Gentlemen, like all geniuses. So maybe he was just saying that he didn't realize it was a Queen song, or something and they took it out of context.* Yes.** Yes, that must be it.***
This is all a joke, right? A big unfunny joke? I hate this man. I hate everyone who votes/voted/will vote for him. This man makes me hate everyhing and hate too much. This is not what American Idol is all about. Let's erase the hate ... together.
This was ... whoa. OK. Say it with me now: "???," then "...".
* I know, I'm making excuses here.
** Seriously. I'm totally aware of this.
*** I know. I KNOW.
Holy shit. Tell me Simon did not just say that!
You know who I love? KENNY. Kenny is truth. Kenny likes the young ladies! He likes these young ladies ... a lot. Remember when he got in trouble for liking those young ladies ... a little too much a lot? Oh, that Kenny.
Kenny disses this man. YES. KENNY IS TRUTH. I now call this man Captain Panders. Please take him home, country roads.
I wasn't feeling it but she's a cute lady.
This dude still rules. I was hoping maybe for some badass Jerry Reed-ery but I'll take this. Kenny knows from making people cry!
Ohh, it's "how do I leave without you." And here I've had it wrong all this time.
Kenny likes this guy. Kenny likes the young ladies! I'm sorry, Kenny, you lost me with this one, though you are still the mack and I'll have to forgive you after I let you off probation. UGH. This guy. F this guy.
I should just be happy that in this day and age there are people who will actually get up and sing "Fancy" like it is their life story. Why does she always clomp around joylessly marching in time to whatever she's singing? Has she always done that? She needs to stop doing that. Although I guess it's either that or squatting in place.
Significantly less shitty, but I want him to STOP STARING at me. Creepy
Apparently, we are are bringing out the Elvis in her. I can't stand her muggy faces anymore. YOU DON'T LIKE COUNTRY MUSIC, JUST SAY IT oh and you do? Shut up.
OK, Mumbles. It sounds like kind of a cool song, though, except for alllll that mumblin'.
I still can't get over "lose the beard," though. I feel like the entire show existed just for that.
Today was kind of a drag, because each day I work a 9-hour shift and get paid for 8 hours of it -- you know, they tell me I get a break and all that but I never take it -- and somehow I ended up working like 11.5 hours straight. And I don't get paid for that, mind, and won't. I don't get comp time, I don't get overtime, and the work I did is certainly all for nothing. And now I'm allowed a generous one-day weekend before I'm back in the office Monday morning after losing an hour to daylight savings.
The sad, sad irony of it all was wearing this T-shirt today. Someone send me back to hustla school.
The good things: Tomorrow is WrestleMania Sunday, so the house is full of WrestleMania snacks. Chris is making some kind of crazy thing in the crock pot for tomorrow and he has provided me with Dutch Crunch and Oreos. This house is LOUSY with Dutch Crunch and Oreos. Spectacular.
Another good thing is KINGS WIN KINGS WIN. WE'RE #8. PLAYOFFS BABY PLAYOFFS. Brad, once again, exhibiting signs of a playoff beard. My stress is lifting just looking at it. You can't see it in this picture, but he's standing next to ICE CUBE!
Oh, OH, and then "Liza With a Z" tonight. It was beautiful. I got to say FOSSE! a lot while watching it, which I always enjoy. AND! she had the most fabulous fake lashes and I sat mesmerized, coveting them. Obscenely long ones.
Suitably inspired, I put on my most outlandish set of lashes (Shu Uemura #79!) and now I'm sitting here in my in my slippers and crazy lashes watching Superman II. C'mon, people, where the party at?
