Merry Christmas! Late. I'm preoccupied because I start working tomorrow. I wasn't even planning on posting anything for a bit but I need to ask you a favor. Promise me that when the time comes, you won't ever let a graf like this get into my obituary. Please. I'm begging you.
I mean for Pete's sake.
'Sup nerdlingers. Today's my birthday. I'm 35. I'm an old lady. An ooooold lady. I'm now in the 35-49 age bracket on surveys. That is depressing! I honestly was taking a lot of surveys leading up to this day so I could deny my own mortality just a little bit longer. I still get carded though. Sometimes I don't have my ID on me, and then I don't drink. Which is crazy, because I'm OLD! Look at me. I feel 50.
Remind me to tell you about the time I went to Flannery's and for whatever reason they had a guy working the door who was convinced that my drivers license was fake, and therefore he refused to let me in. This was a bar where I was a regular, and me being, like, probably 31 at the time. And the door guy was showing my ID off to people in the bar (people who looked to be about 17) being all, "Hahaha, she thinks people would believe she's 31! Next time she gets a fake ID, she needs to be more realistic!" It was horrible. I mean, I was a REGULAR at this bar. And finally one of the bartenders (known for reasons beyond explanation as The Gay) saw what was happening, bless his heart, and cursed the guy out and let me in, thank God. That was a nightmare. All I wanted was drinking and dancing and my friends, which are my favorite things ever.
I've had other experiences like this and it's the worst feeling in the world. People trying to tell you that you aren't who you actually are. Hope I never get my identity stolen else I go on a murder spree. Hey, why am I talking about this when it is a time of CELEBRATION because it is my BIRTHDAY!!!
Dudes, check this out. It's my birthday and I got a job. A JOB. Oh yes. I got a job but I'm not going to tell you where because it's EXCITING and SEXY. AND on top of that, the Kings won. What a fabulous time to be alive.
Tonight we went to karaoke and my brother and his girlfriend were there, and they gave me a giant vat of amaretto and a bottle of sour mix. It's like they KNOW me! I also sang and they indulged me in a fourth song even though I would not normally have gotted it, because it is my birthday and I am special. People sang me birthday songs and gave me things, complete strangers, and it was lovely. What did I sing? Oh yes.
I have nothing else to say at the moment other than happy birthday to me. Yeah.
Hi! Sup nerds. So Chris got a job and he starts on Monday. With that in mind we went and did KARAOKE since who knows when we will be able to do that again with any authority or Taste for Fun. What did I do?
I should have other things to talk about, and I do, but I don't right here. It's just one of those things. Oh! You know something, you should go read Scott Christ's The 2004 SC 100, which even if you don't watch or pay attention to wrestling ever, is still a very entertaining and enlightening read. Because honestly, who even writes anything intelligent about wrestling anymore? Practically no one other than Scott and Cubs. These guys, they mean it. They keep the fires burning and whatnot, and in an even more awesome way than REO Speedwagon.
The Kings are here. If not tonight, then later today. Oh man! My husband was talking me into letting him assist me in stalking a certain member of my favorite team. Which is adorable. But I can't take him up on it, because already tonight he demonstrated his majesty by taking me on a trip to Costco and buying me a) pills and b) booze. My two favorite things. And I'm not even exaggerating.
This is what we came home with.
Hahahahaha awesome.
The NBA schedule-maker did Kings center Brad Miller a solid. The team plays back-to-back Friday and Saturday nights in Minneapolis and Indianapolis, respectively, and then is idle until Tuesday night in Milwaukee. So Miller and Greg Ostertag - is there an outdoors program in need of a couple of 7-foot hosts? - plan to go hunting Sunday.
"We're off all day Sunday and there will be no cell phones," Miller said. "Yeah, I'm going to take Greg with me. Nobody is going to be able to find me unless they know."
(Sacramento Bee: Kings Notes)
15 Guys We'd Love to Smack: GQ's "emphatic 5-finger salute to the most scurrilous, scandalous, arrogant, over-exposed, most smackable men of the year." Oh the hilarity. Rocco DiSpirito, Vince (I call him that) Gallo, Mark Geragos, and one G.Y., a former co-worker in all his special, terrifying rosy-cheeked glory. Bill O'Reilly, Billy Crudup, Billy Corgan ... I guess they have something against guys named Bill? I don't even think Corgan actually did anything this year. But the best part is seeing G.Y. lumped in with the likes of Geragos and O'Reilly. I like to imagine he and Paul Hamm are off in their own little corner together, cowering and holding each other for warmth and protection from this cold, cold world.
FINALLY. It's the League Pass commercial featuring my "favorite fantasy player," heh heh heh. I'm sorry, that's terribly inappropriate. Anyway, I finally managed to dupe it off the DVR cache before I changed the channel and lost it forever (which has happened). It sure took long enough; they practically never show this one. And it's the BEST ONE.
click to open movie in a new window
Note the Vlade poster under Brad's nameplate.
I compressed it into a tiny .mov, but I'll probably get around to making a better copy for the Web later. Not like anyone cares about this other than oh, me. But it's so delightful, I have to share it.
I feel our lives are all the richer for having welcomed "Nick & Jessica's Family Christmas" into our home. We're celebrating the triumphant return of 98º. Somewhere in America, G`` K`````` feverishly updates his controversial report on the decline of the boy band phenomenon, certain someone will still pay him if he delivers it three years late.
Jessica: "I wish I could sing with Bing Crosby." Nick: "I'll be Bing!" Nick starts BEATING HER. And then the ghostly visage of Bing appears behind them and he starts beating them both. This show rules.
When exactly did the whole Victorian/pioneer blouse come back in style? I anxiously await the return of boatneck sweaters with dolman sleeves and shoulder pads up to the ears.
For some reason, I felt it was important I take note of these things.