I'm slightly left of centre of the bullseye you created

Wow, I feel so dull.

DIY: Political Compass

To the oceans white with phở

Sup nerds. I've been feeling a little bit too much like this lady on the left to write much in here lately. Let me tell you what is making me insane. Someone from my Former Place of Employment emailed me about doing some work, and since it was for a different department from the one I used to work for, I deliberated then decided, "OK, I will give this a shot." It should not have been such a difficult decision for me to make, but guess what? They find a way to make me regret doing it anyway. And these aren't even the people I expect to suck at all times! I gave them the benefit of the doubt! And they haven't even given me any WORK yet. Let me map this out for you, because I care about clarity and organization.

• Thursday, 10/14: "Hi Kim, remember me? I remember you. Would you like to do some work?"
  
• Friday, 10/15: "Why of course, tell me all about it."
  
• Monday, 10/18: Silence.
  
• Tuesday, 10/19: Silence.
  
• Wednesday, 10/20: "Hi this is Kim, please call me back and let me know if you got my response? OK great."
  
• Thursday, 10/21: Silence.
  
• Friday, 10/22: "Hi Kim, I'm a completely different person, I understand you used to do some work for [department], please send me your resume."

This is where I pause to rip my hair out for a second. I'm not even going to explain it. Rest assured that was not the approach that I expected nor deserved, but you know, apparently I seem to think I deserve more respect than others are willing to give me. It's CRAZY, I know.

• Sunday, 10/24: "Hi, here is my resume, which will inform you that not only was I senior staff at [department] for over three years, but also Before Your Time I did this exact job you're trying to fill for your exact department." [Paraphrased.]
  
• Monday, 10/25 [am]: "Hi Kim, we have work, would you like it? Tell me your schedule. Yay."
  
• Monday, 10/25 [pm]: "Sure, I'd love some work, here is my schedule, which is totally open. Yay."
  
• Tuesday, 10/26: Silence.
  
• Wednesday, 10/27: Silence.
  
• Thursday, 10/28: Silence.

So you see why I might be a little frustrated and not wanting to be near my computer, ever, because all it does is not give me any information about the work I'm supposed to be doing. Also, whatever happened to people picking up the phone and calling other people? I know, I hate talking on the phone too, but jeez, sometimes it's necessary. That's what I did on the 20th, and I only had one full day's silence before someone got back to me. Results, baby.

I saw Shaun of the Dead. It's adorable! The first hour was fantastic. The last half hour, it kind of fell apart and the tone shifted too far to "fighting zombies and fire and guns and explosions and gore" and lost the magic, I thought, but it's still highly recommended. You could tell they were sort of saving up all the gore shots for that one big disgusting part. That was kind of unnecessary. Still, highly recommended! The record collection fight scene, priceless. And Goblin's theme from Zombi is still the best zombie music in the world. Every zombie movie should use it. Zombie zombie zombie.

Also tonight we saw John Cale. He's adorable! I hadn't seen him for ages. Oh! He was great. Also great that he was supporting such a great great album that made the show even greater. There are few things as delightful as watching a 62-year-old man play a Flying V, and play it like he could use it to KILL PEOPLE. Oh! He's just the best. I wish I could remember the crazy time signature he was using for "Leaving It Up to You" because it was hot. He did "Frozen Warnings" and also "Venus in Furs" (!!!) which was not only awesome? But also great. Unfortunately it inspired some of the more learning-disabled people to begin shouting out requests for other VU songs. Yes, I'm sure he'd love to play "Heroin" just for you. At the table next to us were Harold and Kumar, I swear, and they were so happy to hear everything that came off their prized Close Watch: An Introduction to John Cale, so much so that when "Cable Hogue" started up, Harold suddenly contracted autism and began rocking violently back and forth in his chair with total disregard for the laws of rhythm. I'd never see anything like it. And for "Cable Hogue," even.

Afterward we went to Perkins and I had a ham and cheese omelette. The perfect end to the evening. Now I can look forward to people continuing to not get back to me before the weekend. Delicious!

Flat broke but hey we do it in style

Karaoke? OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED.

• "You Get What You Give" (New Radicals)

That's right. That's it. That's all I got to do tonight. Clearly I was being punished. Clearly it is a conspiracy, clearly because at the end I said "GREGG ALEXANDER: THE FUTURE OF ROCK 'N' ROLL." Threatened? Yep yep you know it. I think I'm going to do it AGAIN. And AGAIN and AGAIN. That's right. Watch out you squares. Hahahaha.

(Take the above with at least one grain of salt, because I worked in an office that had at least one, if not at least two, copies of Maybe You've Been Brainwashed Too in each and every giveaway pile.)

(But seriously, I love that insipid little song.)

(And a lot of that album.)

(Yes.)

(I do.)

I'm depressed that I didn't get to do another song because I wanted to dedicate it to the ugly-ass androgynous couple that was DOING IT in the seat directly behind me. Thunder in the Valley Nick was laughing and making the Universal Signal for "doing it" (index-finger-in-other-hand-"OK" sign) so I got totally grossed out and proceeded to email Jane on my OGO, then clap loudly during Cayenne's rendition of "On the Wings of Love" and then take my keyring out and jingle it like it was frigging sleigh bells right next to their heads. Then the waitress came out and shoved a bill in between their faces and yelled "WHO PAYS THIS TAB?!" I now love her forever.

It was an eventful evening. Happy Birthday Sue!

Hey, you know something?

Especially and most of all, Happy Birthday Jane. I wanted to do a song for you, and I was going to do a song for you, but they stopped me. You are missed. You are loved. You Are My Lady.

Sweet talkin' c-c-c-candy man

[Brad Miller] was asked Tuesday in Fresno, where the Kings played the Lakers in an exhibition, about the perception of tension between him and [Chris] Webber.

Shaking his head, Miller was succinct.

"All I want to say is (expletive) that," he said. "(Expletive) them. (Expletive) everybody. That's (expletive)."

And so on: Chemistry woes? Miller swears it's not an issue (Sacramento Bee)

Haha, he SWEARS it's not. Get it? SWEARS? Ohohohoho. In other news, "Expletive everybody" might just become my new catchphrase.

My dreaming and my scheming

Hey I redesigned a little. The title display still keeps coming up a little too slow for my liking but it could be stuff I'm running elsewhere on my computer. I'll try it again. But if it takes a while to come up for you, let me know and I'll F that B up.

You know what I want is one of these. Or maybe I'll just get a cardboard playhouse like I got for Christmas when I was five? One of those Eames Management Chairs would spruce it up nicely. Although if I could afford one of those, I'm sure I could afford my own portable soundproof office. Oh man. I'm gonna DREAM about it.

Karaoke last night. WHAT DID I DO. You bet I did it.

• "Middle of the Road" (the Pretenders)
• "You Better You Bet" (the Who)
• "Time (Clock of the Heart)" (Culture Club)

That Culture Club song has a key change I totally forgot about and proceeded to not make for the entire rest of the song.

The Sox/Yankees game ended while my brother was singing "Karma Police." Hmm.

I was up all night watching "SCTV" Vol. 2 so now I think I'm ready to take a nap. BYE

Big Chief rides on the trail tonight

This revelation will only be relevant to three other people on the planet, but it is EARTHSHATTERING: James Hyde was a backup dancer for Dead or Alive (via Dustin's Passions Page). This is the most amazing thing ever. His association with "International Male" makes total perfect sense now.

Oh wait, wait wait wait! WAIT! So I went to see if maybe I could find that picture of him in his "plush lounger," right, and I find out that it even SAYS this on his International Male page. It was RIGHT THERE ALL ALONG. I need to bookmark that site finally for real.

Why this was never revealed to me before, I have no idea. I feel a fog is lifting.

EDIT: Of course it's not a "plush lounger," it's The Fleece Snuggler®. How could I forget?!

OK, kid — let's deal some drugs

I should be paying more attention to the "Arrested Development" marathon than I am, since we really have no business dropping Real Money on the DVDs on Tuesday. I'm all about the Hot Cops.

This is a sick house. We're both sick, so sick. Sick sick sick. We haven't left the house for days. Combine this with the INSANE fresh paint fumes from the stairwell (the guy finally finished the job today) and it is a wonder we are not hallucinating faeries and gnomes running around the house. Well, I guess I'm only speaking for myself. But it's not like I can smell much of anything, yet I am experiencing an overwhelming chemical sensation in my respiratory extremities when I breathe. This must be what carbon monoxide poisoning is like. I wish we could open the windows and get some fresh air but hey guess what? It's 38º outside. And raining. I don't think asking for pneumonia is a good idea.

Tonight is the second Kings/Rockets game in China. The first one was fun, even if the Kings lost, but winning wasn't the point and all that. Plus if the Rockets lost, the crowd would have been so sad. And we don't want that. I hope I can manage to be awake when it's on.

This is all exciting news, I know. Eh. I got nothing, but holy crap, check out Brad Miller on a camel.

Soon I'll hear old winter's song

The painter has finally come to paint our stairway. This is a very exciting development. In the duplex we have a big, big stairwell leading from the front door up to our apartment, and we have it all to ourselves. This means we have a great expanse of wall space for hanging things, not the least of which is a giant wood-framed beveled mirror that we got from my mom and dad and which is currently taking up a ton of space in a box on our porch. I can't wait to finally get that up. I can't wait I can't wait.

Now if only I was rolling in the chips, I could get a bunch of my one-sheets restored and backed with linen like I've been itching to do for years, and then we could hang those up there too. My folks are in good with the local shop. I'm dying to get my Compulsion and Blonde Bait posters shored up. Can you believe Posteritati is charging $350 for their Compulsion one-sheet? WTF, they are out of their gourds. I paid $20. Good gracious.

There was a KSTP news truck out at the end of our block today. Turns out they did a live remote to talk about Dutch elm and how there are still almost 5,000 trees that need to be taken down. One of those trees is in front of our house. The giant beautiful place at the end of the block has three, I think. That's where they were broadcasting from. All the trees lining the street in front of that house have orange rings painted around them. It's so depressing. I remember bringing home our little baby evergreen rosemary tree a few weeks back, and the city was taking an elm out of our neighbors' back yard. I tried to shield it from the trauma while I brought it in the house, like I was trying to cover its eyes or something. "Don't look! It'll be OK! Don't look!" Poor little trees.

We originally thought the news truck was on our block to show off the hot fall foliage we've suddenly got rolling around here during the weather report, or whatever, but alas, it was for far less happy reasons. I took a picture through our porch window to commemorate it anyway. Pretty pretty pretty.

You could see Christopher's car in the background during the remote, incidentally. Exciting! I should have waved out the window or something, but then I remember how much I hate it when people do that. Yahoos.

All-night shows in summertime

I'm sorry, Brad, did I wake you?

<-click to enlarge->

I can't imagine what kind of rough night he must have had to show up at media day looking like that. Maybe he overslept because he thought school picture day was on the fourth, like for every team other than the Kings and the Rockets? These were taken on October 1, since they had to leave all early for a preseason exhibition in China. Anyway, I can't decide if this is a step back from or an improvement over his "trimmed my bangs with a nail scissors" look from media day last year. Let's call it a draw. Doesn't he remember how cute he looks when he shaves his head? Honestly.

Far more aesthetically palatable are these pictures from the Getta Cue charity dealie:

Oh my God. Those pictures make me feel funny.

In other exciting developments, I've discovered that the Kings brought on Greg Ostertag not as a replacement for Vlade per se, but as a backup for Brad, who's apparently a real live starter this year (in Vlade's absence):

I think it's gonna be a good show! Thanks, Comcast, for deciding to start a central CA sports channel this year. Dicks.

When you're feeling like a part of you is dying

Vlade on media day, October 4, my anniversary, which was clearly weighing heavily on his mind. (Click to enlarge.)

Good lord, he looks different!!! He looks ... "refreshed." Did he get something done? I find it hard to believe he'd do something like that. Not my Vlade. What is L.A. doing to you? You get back here. Shame, shame, shame.
To help me feel better I found this hot picture, even though it's a flashback to the day he STABBED ME almost to DEATH with his DISLOYALTY.

What a male model. A dream machine. Sigh.

Platinum is best served cold

J-Will, honey, what on earth were you thinking?

That was taken on Monday at the Grizzlies' media day. The man needs to rethink that decision. Immediately. Even an ironic Eminem makeover is unacceptable. If not more so. Still, this is one of those rare times when "meaning it" does not necessarily make it better.

See? Even he knows I'm right.

One Year

So yesterday, October 4, was our first anniversary. Yay!

We spent the weekend doing more work around the house and watching "The Office." I tried to not get sick, because it got really cold around here. I had to bring the plants in and everything. We turned the heat on. It was wacky. Now it's going to be, like, 80º tomorrow. What? Exactly.

So then, the anniversary. There was reminiscing. We got married in Minneapolis, and then we moved to Minneapolis? Crazy. I love it. It also means it's been a year since I've seen my friends. That's a different kind of crazy, but we'll fix that.

Oh! We had the most awesome dinner at Kikugawa. Apparently we got the same thing Hideki Matsui gets. Maybe he'll be there in a few days, har har. I drank a girly cocktail and then two bottles of hot sake. Then we came home and ate a tiny tiny bit of our wedding cake. It had been hiding out in my grandmother's freezer all this time. It held up surprisingly well — other than a little freezery taste to the buttercream, it was pretty darn good for year-old cake. I've tasted worse fresh ones. That's a weird-looking sentence.

Tonight I think we're actually going to fire up the "s'mores maker" we got as a wedding present. It's basically a pu-pu platter table Hibachi on a lazy Susan with fondue forks. (Sterno not included.) We've got all the fixings ready to go. Quick, before it's 80º again.

I love Christopher. He is the best. The best of the best. I'm very lucky. Lucky and happy.

If you gotta go, it's all right

Whoa. It's 43º out. It's been this way for hours. When did this happen? It was 70º yesterday, and it was raining like crazy today. I'm gonna have to bring the plants in tonight or else they'll be flash-frozen.

So hey guess what? I got my new phone and my new OGO. Ogooooooooooo. Everything works beautifully. Bless you AT&T Wireless. It's like a lovely miracle. I've been spending the last few hours getting everything activated and SIM-carded and inputting my contacts and all that. You know what I love is not having to input all my old work contacts into anything anymore. That, too, is like a lovely miracle.

Why am I cursed to love gadgets so much. It's terrible. A quick look around my desk and I see my Palm Tungsten, my digital camera, my Ogo, my new phone, the iPod and the DV camera. And a sweet Pablo Pardo desk lamp that I swear I got a good price on, I swear I swear I swear. It matches my eMac. How could I not get it?

So anyway, I need to get locked up for a while, at least until I make enough money to support my bad habits. On a related note, did you know that eLuxury is selling Pucci now? Is someone out there trying to kill me?

I'm eating Froot Loops out of the box. I can't stop it. I think I'll go play with my Ogo for a while and try to calm down. Ogoooooooooooo