We've got drama right here in River City! Maroon 5 and Bo Butt. Ryan says Randy had a hard-on for Syesha, or something. Last night was an emotional moment of time in which Paula gifted Syesha with the gift of recognition. Why yes, THIS is American Idol!
Up With People brings us "Reelin' in the Years" as if to spite me. There is no one on this planet more eminently qualified to espouse the world-weary wisdom of Steely Dan than David Archuleta. Fancy footwork! I wonder if their "rock research" this week included learning the origin of this band's name. This. Is. So. Joyless. Hearing "are you gathering up the tears/have you have enough of mine?" from Syesha is a precious thing. This makes The Free Design sound like Pantera. RICKEY MINOR JAMZ! Kimberly Caldwell sighting! Oh thank God it's over.
Let's take a loving look back at last night. The horror! Is it wrong of me to be charmed by Jason's "Mr. Tambourine Man"? Is the situation that dire? Is the answer to one of these questions no and the other yes? Guess!
Boy, that David A. sure is chatty. I don't care about his "game plan" with his "song choices." He's a riveting conversationalist. (He's not.) He's safe! (He is!)
HD is not kind to the ladies of "Sex and the City."
Our contestants got a "taste of the high life" on a glamorous jet! Jason's livin' the high life every day my friend. Star treatment makeovers! Somehow that is the best they can manage with David C., what a shame. A girl makes out with Jason, and then Jason makes out with a dolphin. Thank goodness I can FFWD through this Cirque du Soleil bullshit. Thanks, time wasting cross-promotional package!
Randy wants David C. to stay original dude and rock it out baby. He insists his head was in the wrong place which is strange since his head is usually UP HIS ASS because he is an ASS HEAD. He's safe, what a shame.
So it's down to THIS ONE or THAT ONE.
FORD MUSIC VIDEO! "Ring of Fire." Toreadors. Mustang. Chris: "They just wanted an excuse to put them in tight pants." Ryan takes notice!
Taylor Hicks is ready for you to lick and send ... through the mail.
Live phone calls are a must to ignore and avoid.
Chris sure looks perplexed by Maroon 5: "I wish they'd turn down the music so we can hear his voice!"* Chris wonders how it must feel for them to open for Bo Bice. This is presenting a great example to our contestants!
The cost of groceries is through the roof. You can save if you play the grocery game! Find out how TONIGHT on the Fox 9 News at 9!
Chris is right, this Valleyfair commercial does suck.
Let's welcome Bo Butt back to the AI stage! Chris: "Is he Rascal or Flatts?" He's been working on his Lenny Ray Vaughn-Kravitz impersonation. Chris notes that he spits a lot. Just think, contestants, someday this show will be all you too have left to momentarily resuscitate you out of obscurity. Speaking of which, Phil Stacey sighting!
Today's gas price hike caused some tense moments around town. And what would make a man jump off a skyscraper ... for fun? TONIGHT on the Fox 9 News at 9!
How dare Pieman equate Jason Castro and Ace Young?! HOW DARE HE?!
Oh hey it's time to say goodbye to someone! Is it the self-effacing goofball who doesn't give a shit or the creep with the crocodile tears who tries too hard?
"Somebody told me I shot the tambourine man yesterday. That was pretty funny." Ryan notes Jason seems relieved to be making an exit, and there's a good reason why: "There's three songs next week, I dunno what I woulda done!"
I will forever celebrate you home, Jason Castro. I have no idea if it simply took time for you to reveal yourself as a treasure or if it was just easy to step up your charm game in a season full of joyless prigs. You will be missed—at least until AI recognizes the potential of putting out a DVD of nothing but your finest moments and outtakes. Your goodbye video proves you're worth it!
P.S., ugh, this show.
*See, that's funny because it's totally the opposite of what really should have been happening!!!
Posted by Kim at May 7, 2008 09:16 PM | The Sound of Breaking GlassYou really should be recapping Hell's Kitchen, too.
I am saddened by the loss of Jason Castro. He was so totally no-selling the whole Idol stuff. Compare his demeanor to the Creepy Davids. He was just enjoying himself! And some Chee-tos.
By fast forwarding through the question and answer session, you are missing the hilarity! Creepy Little couldn't answer anything. All his answers were "I don't know." And Creepy Bigger got asked out on a date and him trying to worm his way out of visiting Pittsburgh with this "fan" was AWESOME!
I hope Syesha wins because with Jason gone, my bubble has been burst.
Posted by: pieman at May 8, 2008 07:22 AMIt won't be the same with Jason and our weekly moment of "Duuude". I'm hoping for Syesha to at least pull out a surprise 2nd place, just to see smug or smugger bite it next week.
Again...nice recaps (nice guest shot too). As usual, better than the show itself.
Posted by: cranlsn at May 8, 2008 09:45 AM...sorry...that should be "without Jason". Must be the cough medicine...
Posted by: cranlsn at May 8, 2008 09:46 AMLast night a Jason Castro saved my life. After weeks and weeks of being angry and yelling at the TV, Jason brought me joy. He is a delight, and far funnier than anyone on "American Idol" could ever appreciate. I haven't laughed that hard since Sean Avery said -- well, pretty much anything ever.
Kim, I am very encouraged by your recovery, especially in the face of Bo Butt and "Reelin' in the Years." Did you believe for a second that Steely or Dan (sorry, that is what I call them) were going to walk through that dramatic opening door and wave to the crowd? That's what this show brings me, those sorts of world-ending thoughts.
Posted by: jane at May 8, 2008 11:54 AM