Who's more toe up and busted looking: Amanda or Dominique from Top Model? This is the question haunting me tonight. And THIS is American Idol!
Ryan asks us, what have we done? Hmm, 29 million votes isn't much to crow about, is it? That woman next to Jim Carrey looks REALLY happy to be there. Hey, there's a show happening!
Up With People celebrates the Beatles-type music of Lennon/McCartney. Did you get the feeling Michael was just randomly horning on people's action for half of this? And sweating, eew girl, eew. Is he on meth? Meth is death my friend. David H. is positively SEXOHOLIC with his hot moves. Chris can't get over Chikezie and Ramiele holding hands. Amanda is giving me an aneurysm.
We are looking down the barrel of an elimination! Ryan, that's insensitive in these violent times of gunplay in our nation's schools and Lane Bryant stores.
OMG the return of the Ford Music Video!!!!! How I've missed you, Ford Music Video. It continues in the fine "the hell?!" tradition of song choice with Cake's "The Distance." In blatant defiance of Paula, this song does not have a lot of melody. It's perfect for Amanda! Hmm, you'd think with the luxury of editing they could manage to make everyone look like they have rhythm, but nooooo. I can't wait to see what they give us next week! CAN'T WAIT!!!
Everyone is serious as a heart attack when they begin cutting people. Except Jason! That dude is sooo hiiigh. Sorry, I had to go back there. Apparently they're making each of the bottom three people sing. I'm trying to figure out what the logic is for doing that, other than to make the show unbearably long. Is there a vast cross-section of Our Nation who only watch the elimination show, so they're trying to provide context by which this audience may be converted to watching the performance show next time? No, probably just making this show unbearably long. OK.
Who are those folks about whom Paula uttered tonight's title?
Hahahaha, ohhhhh, Syesha is PISSED. She is not excited and she sure can't hide it when they make her sing again knowing she's in the gutter! And she calls herself an actress? Oh honey, good luck. Also she won't stop singing after the song is over. Ugh. Next!
Meanwhile, Kristy is all giggly and amused and whatever about the whole thing. Jason was probably helping her "prepare" before the show, wink wink. Chris calls this "country drum-n-bass" which is basically what Jane said. Great minds. Next!
Like Jessica Alba, all I really want in life is for my foundation to match my skin. Is that too much to ask for? (NARS Fiji for me!)
Oh David, David David David. You did it to yourself, you did, and that's what really hurts.
Oh, and then all this other stuff happens, right? Michael reveals that he was watching AI last year and dreaming he may someday be "that guy." What, a loser? You are well on your way, pal. Chris claims Amanda has her priorities straight for being excited about meeting Kevin Cronin instead of seeing Horton Hears a Who and I'm inclined to agree. Chikezie and Ryan engage in a little man love. OMG DANNY IS SITTING WITH RAMIELE'S FAMILY, wearing one of their hot homemade T-shirts, oh bless. He's so subtle, AI can't even properly acknowledge his presence other than a chyron reading "best friend," aww. Danny is your brother, your best friend forever!
Before we find out who's going home, we must first stab ourselves in the face:
It's encouraging to know that Katharine McPhee has gotten no less tiresome over the last two years. Is her creepy crying dad in the audience? C'mon, I miss that guy! (No I don't.) Instead, no less a bright talented star of impressive magnitude for the children of today than David Foster takes on the role of creepy old dude in her life tonight. Eew. She does "Something" so George can be on the receiving end of equal time abuse. They should bring back Ruben to do "Octopus' Garden," that'd be hot.
Imagine losing everything you own in a matter of seconds! One desperate family's plea for help, plus YOUR WEATHER FIRST—TONIGHT on the Fox 9 News at 9!
Hey, it's the end of the show! Sadly, my curse is already in full force (but not, however, Full Force):
Oh David, David David David. I weep for you, but you are strong in your defeat. I guess AI just ain't ready for gay/gay-friendly dudes who are conventionally gay-hot and/or fabulous. It just scares people! Sanjaya doesn't count, so don't even try. Oh David, David David David, I enjoyed your sexoholism while it lasted, and I salute you.
One David down, two to go! P.S. F-you, Idol, for that shameful production snafu during the goodbye video. F-you in the face. Boo! (and -hoo!)
Posted by Kim at March 12, 2008 09:35 PM | The Sound of Breaking GlassWell, you're right, David did it to himself. Awful song choice and making them sing it again after they are notified they are in the bottom three seems kind of punitive, doesn't it? David mailed that performance in last night. Kristy should have been the one, but he's got no argument with that.
I missed the Up With People segment, but I have it on tape. I am thinking of watching it back, but I probably won't.
Posted by: pieman at March 13, 2008 06:43 AMOh no. I totally used your "One David Down..." line as my headline, completely coincidentally. Maybe I should be reading this first so as to not make this mistake. Nothing's fine, I'm torn.
I got so sad last night when David was knocked out, as you might have guessed. I slammed my hand down on Oliver Reed Island. Somewhere, he said "ouch."
These curses are hurting me, and more importantly, I am ruining young people's dreams. Can I just go on record to say that my favorites are David Cook and Amanda Overmyer. I really hope they win it all! Hooray for "rock"!
PS I miss Ruben.
Posted by: jane at March 13, 2008 08:47 AMYES. I want David C. and Amanda to take it all. The first-ever dual boy-girl AI champion, with their giant heads and questionable, I mean delightful hair choices. They're the real-deal rockers, yeah yeah!
I think the one down, two to go is easy to make, or maybe the greatest of great minds think alike, but I cry that the one down is the wrong one down. I mean the right one! Go David C.! Take it home sweet home like Motley Crue, tonight, toniiiiight!
P-man, you need to watch Up With People so you can confirm to me that Michael is indeed on that meth. I know I'm right.
Jane, please don't hurt yourself over this show! Well I can't help the emotional pain but the physical pain, it's not worth it. You're better than this! Just like David H. is. No! I mean America made the right choice!!! And take Ramiele next week, too! See if I care!!!
Posted by: Kim at March 13, 2008 02:05 PMOkay - I have now watched last night's episode of Up with People and Michael is sooooo on meth. My favorite moment of his trainwreck performance was when he was singing with two shorter people (I can't be bothered to remember which two) and he was between and behind them and he squatted down a little bit to be on an even level head-wise with them. I rewound it a couple times to watch that.
The Jacuzzi/Ramiele hand holding was also quite special.
Thanks for insisting I watch that. I am happy, happy I say.
Posted by: pieman at March 13, 2008 08:07 PM