This is our best Top 24 yet! Honestly! If we keep saying it, you will believe it! THIS is American Idol!
Our Up With People experience is Sounds of the Sixties, y'all. All the ladies are dressed up Carnaby Street-style, that is if Carnaby Street had a SuperTarget. The songs we send to the butcher shop are:
"Needles and Pins"
"When You Walk in the Room"
"Spanish Harlem" (what??!!!?!)
"Bend Me Shake Me"
Yes, those selections in that sequence make TOTAL sense. Either Joanne's or Carly's mic is turned off, I can't tell whose. Amanda looks bored to tears. She's wearing something that can best be described as a "floor-length hostess vest." This performance is verging on the grotesque!
So Ryan calls Garrett up to have a chat aaaand ...
... dismisses him on the spot. WHOA! That is awesome. I mean, not awesome for Garrett, but it's INNOVATIVE. I guess the kids were put off by his chocolate milk mustache. Garrett is totally chill about the whole thing. I do not fear for this young man, as he has a bright future starring as Wooderson's little brother in Dazed and Confused 2.
As we look back at the ladies, Chris snaps on Carly's teeth and says "she funny lookin'." Real talk. Ryan calls up Kristy so you know that's a swerve.
So long Amy D.! I never got a chance to call you "Amy Double-D," so I'll do that now. She certainly must have known it wasn't her night when the stylist put her in that boob-camouflaging granny dress and white tights. White tights! Now that's just cruel and unusual. Paula's words of advice to Amy form tonight's entry title. At least I think that's what she says. I am incapable of translating it as anything else short of having to break out some Blow Out-style sound forensics equipment.
Oh yes, and I do so enjoy the new "humiliate the family members" tactic of putting the losers' people up in the loft so we can watch them be disappointed and miserable or attempt in vain to appear gracious in defeat. LOVE IT.
Let's watch Paula's "comeback" music video! Seeing Randy Jackson rock out on the bass brings me great joy. This song is like a backwards underwater version of Jennifer Lopez's "Play." Wind and hair. Ribbons! Wind and hair. Oh my God WHERE DID THIS ARCHIVE FOOTAGE OF CHEERLEADERS COME FROM?! What, where and why. Why?! I'm baffled. This is baffling. I suppose that is entirely appropriate.
Back to the slicing and dicing! Ryan actually says that. Amanda and Joanne are called into the octagon. I see where this is going.
Goodbye Joanne! You were terrible! Ramiele is DEVASTATED. Crying gets you more camera time! These ladies are savvy. I'm shocked Syesha didn't take this opportunity to collapse in an epileptic fit. I bet she'll know better next week!
Ryan calls up Colton and Chikezie! Colton looks totally spivved out. He's also turned pale as a ghost.
Aaaaand he's outta here! Chris: "Wake up call! My man's gonna come strong now!" See, I don't even think the others who were called up were the next-lowest vote-getters, were they? Did anyone say they were? I don't remember hearing that. I think we're being MANIPULATED. (No!!) Anyway, that's the end. Crying, tears, tears, crying, hugging, crying.
Wait wait wait, I just realized that LUKE IS SAFE which means we are not. Ack, another week of agonizing over trying to figure out who he looks like. And the best part of the show? Danny shaking his hair out of his eyes so may we all be blessed by his holy tears. He weeps so glamorously!
Posted by Kim at February 21, 2008 08:33 PM | The Sound of Breaking GlassChris is right. Every time Carly sings, my eyes are drawn right to her teeth. Her two front teeth are WAY longer than the rest and gives her the Bugs Bunny look.
I don't think any of the four who were dismissed this week will be missed at all. They were forgettable and it would be a shame if Luke was gone before you figured out who he looks like besides Luke Perry... oof.
Posted by: pieman at February 22, 2008 05:54 AM