And there to greet them was none other than CEO Jeffrey Katzenberg

Yes, Mr. Katzenberg, we're all just "chasing the dream." I mean the dragon. I mean the dream! The dream! I said "the dream," right?

Please, let's never let this happen again:

Let's start this show with a forensic examination of the Zapruder Film for the 2K7, meaning Simon rolling his eyes over whatever. Back and to the left.

Ryan is trickin on the ave the man on the street, asking the tough questions:

Q: What was your favorite part of that performance?
A: He did it.

That was about Phil, by the way. Faint praise, baby! That's what'll get us through this season!

Sadly, the "I'm Alright" our Up With People gang performs tonight has nothing to do with Kenny Loggins. Also, "alright" is not a word. Improper! Make it stop!

Fergie, why are you on my TV. Why does your shitty guitar player have ironic "heavy metal artist" logo stickers all over his shitty acoustic guitar. Why are you singing about serenity, unless that is in fact your preferred brand of pee pads. Why are you terrible. Why do you force your terribleness on us. You're not worth my question marks.

Sanjaya is straight-up smoothed out in tonight's music video. It hasn't been posted on the site yet, probably to prevent us from pointing out how military vests and acts of conspiracy and intrigue are offensive in these troubling times. FOR SHAME.*

AI's motion graphics team can't spell Keira Knightley!

With our bottom three, America has decided: Blake and LaKisha can suck it!

I LOVE AMERICA. Though quite frankly I'd rather see Chris there instead of Sanjaya because he just downright pissed me off with his argumentative shenanigans and ill-timed show of respect by way of sympathy ploy (or vice versa) but oh hell and oh well.

Let's take a sneak peek at the new Shrek movie with noted sexy, sexy Hollywood celebrity Jeffrey Katzenberg. And SURPRISE! Antonio Banderas, also rocking that Members Only look. I still love Antonio Banderas, even if he looks more and more like a creepy drifter with each passing year.

Here's Martina McBride, stopping by between her spinning and yoga classes apparently. Melinda looks like she's a little in love with her.

Sadly, Blake is safe. LaKisha looks like she's going to pass out. Aw dang, now my grandma is going to be so depressed:

And so am I, strangely enough. Singing through his tears, what a trouper. Between this and [spoiler] getting booted off Top Model, it's a sad day for the true entertainers.

*I forgot this is my first Wednesday after my class ended, so it was usually post-West Coast time by the time I watched these before. Ohhh, WELL then.

Posted by Kim at April 18, 2007 10:02 PM | The Sound of Breaking Glass