It's all fun and games ... until somebody gets raped.

Now that's how you sell a TV show.

I don't even know where to start because Idols is making me tired. I'm tired of these people. I'm tired of sitting there and having nothing to say about, well, most of them other than "???" and "...".

I think it's that I miss Crazy Smile Man.

Oh, Crazy Smile Man. You left us far too soon. The INJUSTICE. You hardly got a chance to "show the world what God has created," or whatever it was you said that ruled and I need to write it down and remember it for future occasions. This, THIS is why Season 5 can blow me.


I don't remember how she left or why or even what she was wearing. Oh well.


Well at least she can face the future now knowing she's a failure at something.


Oh, and I DON'T actually hate "Her Town Too." Jane, as always you are my rock.

And then we get to the final 12 and THIS crap happens.

Heyyyy slutty. OK, she forgot the words and blah blah but at least she wasn't a creepy midget psychopath.

Which meant the next week was pretty hot, though, right.

Now, THIS guy. THIS GUY. Seriously, what is it with this season where almost everyone on this show is positively delusional and getting WORSE. Like THIS GUY. This mouthy little goon really thought he ... had a shot? Had fans? He had an ATTITUDE. THIS GUY!!!! THIS GUY HAS THE NERVE TO HAVE AN ATTITUDE!!! So what we've all learned is that the world owes guys like this guy -- THIS GUY -- a living. Great. And I can, you know, F the F off. Actually, this is the primary lesson I'm getting from my daily life of late. Yeah, you know. Oh well.

Oh oh oh oh, Ike on "South Park" is dressed like a businessman and carrying a briefcase and I just started crying a little bit.

Back to the show, right. Are we all caught up almost? Kind of? OK!

You know, if you're going to go out, at least go out looking like you're posing for the box cover of Portrait of a Teenage Whore. I was caught up in a particularly sexy episode of Sexy Victims Unit so I totally missed the song but it did not sound cute in the replays. I'm sure it was that eyeshadow what done her in anyway.


Oh yeah, delusional. This one is full-on wholesale gone out of control delusional. I was screaming in terror from that song, augh. And how PISSED was she to be in the bottom three? Delicious.


Enough already. Enough. I was exaggerating up there about screaming in terror, as I was actually screaming in terror HERE. Literally. I can't take anymore of this butt ass butt. The hair thing. The HAIR THING. Yeah, you remember. Don't act like you don't.

I really need a picture of Ike in his little businessman outfit. Oh man.

This dude rules.


I didn't hate her last week, but this week?
"???"
"..."
I did like that she made herself up like a crazy person, though.


It was a little screamy.


These last two weeks have been ... I'll say "atrocious." It's like when I was at the grocery store and I'm going blind and there's this Kemps ice cream called "Cow Tracks" but I thought the carton said "Cow Tragedy." This was a Cow Tragedy.


I seriously don't know how this guy is managing to stick around, but whatever.


Do not get me started on his Active Rock® boring ass boring boring ass. I was at Joey's Only for All-You-Can-Eat-Shrimp Night with my folks, right, and Nickelback comes on and my dad is all, "Is this the bald guy from Idol?" NICKELBACK. Do we REALLY need another CASEY CHASEY CHAD CHAZ whatever ANOTHER ONE OF THAT DUDE FROM NICKELBACK? Hahahahaha Creed. Dude! Creed sucks dude! Thank goodness the Scream 3 soundtrack was useful for SOMETHING. To someone. Somewhere. Maybe.

Did Ike just say "I'm tripping balls"? Oh my God. I love this show.

Simon tends to reflect my thoughts pretty well, so I'm a little sad he didn't tell this guy, You know, if the challenge lies in performing a relatively current and popular song that people can measure against the original, it's a pretty pussed out move to do a song that nobody F-ing knows. Which is, uh, what I said. The path of least resistance works really well for some people and I am just tired and tired and tired and TIRED of THOSE PEOPLE. Please die in the face, you and your demented homeless lady vacant retard smile.

As Rosemary Woodhouse would say, "Pain begone, I will have no more of thee." Then again, she was knocked up by Satan.

This means something.

EDIT: Oh oh oh look!

Posted by Kim at March 29, 2006 08:57 PM | The Sound of Breaking Glass