Hair in curls, not quite as tall as the other girls

Apropos of nothing: Chloe? What? I saw half that collection at Braun's in 1985 and the other half in Contempo Casuals five years later.

For the record: Paula's rack terrifies me.

I have an excuse to keep this short. First, a toast to those who are gone:

Apparently America doesn't like boobs all that much.


At least she didn't burn any bridges on her way out. Oh wait


My people aren't known for giving up on my people (see Season 3), so this is some kind of phenomenon of nature.


it's nice to know something can actually go my way every once in a while.

- - - - -
And now, LADIES.

What up, seafoam eye shadow. Zzzzzzz. I don't care about either of these people anymore. Who even does "Conga" WILLINGLY?! That is a sign of mental deficiency.


Heyyyy slutty. Why is it that she looks so cute during the boys' show and looks so scary when she is attempting to make an impression on God and Everyone? I think she may have broken the skank machine. I still like her. I fear for her (and her outfits!!!), but I still like her.


I actually like this song (I reserve apology) but woof wooooof. Also, she looked like a Hee Haw Honey who got dragged out of the Death Star trash compactor. Paula said she liked her outfit, so I crave whatever sweet, sweet candy Paula is snacking on. I'm sorry, because you seem like a nice lady.


What? Huh? Were those kung-fu jodhpurs? Am I supposed to know this song? Am I supposed to like it? Did she buy those shoes at the eLUXURY sale? Actually those looked like some fly shoes, though. I've got nothing else here. Tank toooooooops


Did my eyes deceive me, or did two out of three background singers manage a Black Power salute during this? I have taken a one-way ticket to Crazy Town featuring Shifty Shellshock.


God is great, y'all.


If she gets any more corny I will become allergic to corn. WATCH IT.
- - - - -
DUDES.

I am now officially obsessed with Crazy Smile Man. Like, a good obsessed. Like he rules. I could watch his clips all day long, and I usually hate those from everybody. HE IS, ALSO. A PAIN-TER.


It's not that I don't like him, I'm just tired of this Active Rock® bullshit he keeps barking at me. I eagerly await HIS "Gloria Estefan Tribute" moment. Or at least one rendition of "It's Been Awhile." Maybe he's already done that even. Also: still porny.


The transition from "rap" and "gangsta" and "Kanye West motivates me as a performer" to a raging junior high choir solo recital at Northtown Mall rendition of "Vincent" may have provided me with my one true moment of pure entertainment this week. SCREAMING was involved. But I can't look at or listen to him. He makes John Stevens IV look like Liam Gallagher.


I liked this, so I must have completely lost my mind. Although those lyrics, what was up with that. A little eww.


When they said before the break he was going to do James Taylor I yelled "OH MY GOD NO, HE'S GOING TO DO 'HANDY MAN.'" I was glad I was wrong, but not for very long. Are there any James Taylor songs I don't completely despise? Tell me, I'm curious to know.


First of all, from the C-Cross to the McD, this man is out to tarnish the name of Yacht Rock and the entire holy legacy of Really Smooth Music. THEN, WTF people, bunny suit, Flaming Lips Reject, HELLO??? That was a GAUNTLET. This man is clearly out to get me. Oh, it's on. P.S., My McD is far more accomplished. (And smoooth.)


If he ends up getting tossed out for this, I may actually cry real girl tears.


Did he sing "Smeg my dreams come true"?! I think he did. Hahahaha he had to do "odd jobs" when he moved to Hollywood! He did things he NEVER IMAGINED HE COULD DO! So begins a little cautionary tale known as "Boys on Hollywood Blvd." by Elite. Read it. Learn it. Live it.

Posted by Kim at March 9, 2006 12:22 AM | The Sound of Breaking Glass