'Sup dawgs. Tonight I've had two double dirrty martinis and four bottles of Gordon Biersch, one each from the Variety Pak™ offered by Costco. The one with the yellow label is really good! It's all, like, flowery and stuff. Anyway, I think I'm now in the best possible state to comment on this week's "American Idol" proceedings.
Honey, I'm sorry. It was fun while it lasted. Going by your performance vs. Fantasia's on Tuesday, I would have voted for you, and that is the Lord's honest truth, if only because not only that your outfit was adorable from the chest up, but also because "Weekend in New England" is bombass. I mean, it's not like it even says "Weekend in New England" in the whole song, and yet that is the title!!! You know what I am saying?!?! My mom and I were chatting vis-a-vis "AI" the other day and we were lamenting re: Fantasia and Jennifer, in which we could see that while they were talented, they were obviously the least likeable of all the contestants. Fantasia because she thinks she's supergreat and doesn't need anyone, and Jennifer because she's been in the bottom three so much that she's got a gigantic chip on her shoulder. "You're so cute, Jennifer." "SHUT UP. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK. I DON'T NEED YOUR CHARITY." You know, just like me when I was 15. So yeah, this is not a surprise, although it's sad, because you know who sucks it? Oh yes, you know.
"One Voice"? "One" F-ing "Voice"? You must be sh-ing me. I felt like I was in choir class again. You know, choir class when I was in junior high school, in 1982. I hate this creepy little monkey-ass freak.
Listen, dawg, I was terrified when they said he was doing "Mandy," because it sounded like the worst of all possible worlds, but you know something? He DID HIS THING. He LAID IT DOWN. At least before the second verse, where it all began to fall apart. But he was doing that whole "John Davidson Show" thing where he was TELLING a STORY, man, and I had to stop myself and say, "Oh my God, this rules." But then it started sucking again. So I can't say that he deserves to be here over Jennifer H., necessarily, but over Diana D.? As "Stone Cold" Steve Austin would say, oh hell yeah. Man, who keeps voting Diana in??? I hate her!!!
He was horrible. Horrible. Horrible. So I can't express any excitement over him still being around because he is letting us all down. Although the other day we were out having dinner and Christopher did this impression of George finding out he was "safe" for the week and I almost fell over and passed out, it was so hilariously awesome. You should ask him to do it next time you see him, really.
Yeah, you know, whatever. "Summertime" was really pretty great, but that wasn't this week, was it? NOOOOO
I couldn't remember her name just now! That's the drink talking. Anyway, honey, you're no Rita Coolidge. Maybe you should've worn a headband? Anyway, keep ya head up my sister.
Zzzzz I really don't care.
"I Made It Through the Rain" by Barry Manilow
Posted by: Kim at April 24, 2004 12:24 AMI think maybe Mr. Trax needs to make a little video of his George Huff impression, yo dawg.
Posted by: pieman at April 24, 2004 03:12 AMYes, CRZ represent. George has kind of killed it for me these past two weeks (thought I didn't HATE "Against All Odds," and I could have, because it is my most favorite song ever, proving once again that QT is a damn fool.)
And word 'em up, I had my hands over my face wincing waiting for "Mandy" (though I lived through Clay singing "Bridge Over Troubled Water," so maybe I can survive anything), and it ended up being not at all bad to start. Then he slipped. Ah well. At least I could recognize the song, and that wasn't happening much that night. I am looking for George to step it up this week. Come on, George. Also, even if Jasmine blows, I was so happy to be able to sing over her. I just never get enough chances in life to sing "I'll Never Love This Way Again."
Posted by: jane at April 26, 2004 12:23 PMI didn't hate "Against All Odds" either. I thought it was good that at least he was "changing it up" without anyone having to tell him to do something outside his usual style first, but then everyone hated it because he didn't "do his thing" and we were really quite shocked. He was just bringing the artistic integrity but the happy smiley man never gets any respect. At least he wasn't doing a frigging Disney song. QT is a freak.
"I'll Never Love This Way Again"~~~~~ Also I wish someone did "I Made It Through the Rain" as you would guess from the post title. So I just sang it myself. I hate "One Voice" so much. Although maybe it is just because it reminds me of school choir.
I think John IV needs to have Barry as a spiritual adviser every week, because I don't think I can go back to watching him be horrific.