It's a lousy rainbow anyway

What's up dawgs. I know I said that I would not get emotionally invested in "American Idol" this season but I swear this isn't emotional investment. I just got a bee about this Wild Card show. First of all, they must have dug up something on Erskine or he must have told them to suck it or something, because I cannot believe the losers they threw into this round over him. WTF, he was a cool dude.

And then, there was the show.

This guy scared the crap out of me. I couldn't even watch the TV, it was so terrifying. And then when I would venture a look up at the screen, his face was twisted in this psychotic rictus that made me think he was either going to shoot Deadly Lasers from his eyes or make everyone's heads explode like Scanners. Traumatizing.

She was good in the audition shows but man, she is dull. Which is sad, since she was good in the audition shows. I've got nothing else here.

Hey dimestore Kim Novak, what's up. That was a ghastly insult to Kim Novak, I'm sorry. Have you ever noticed how combining "terrible" and "horrific" makes "terrific"? I just did, because I almost wrote that she was terrific. Someone should have just walked up out of the audience and tazered her, although she probably would have done some more of those herky shoulder things. Oh God, she has got to go. There's a press release that says "she most identifies her own style with that of Beyoncé." BZZZZT ZAP TAZER TAZER TAZER

This dude is a little too ... giddy, but a) he's the only one in this group whose name I managed to learn somehow and b) I got up from my computer to watch him once he hit the chorus, so I guess that counts for something. But before that chorus, whoo butt. Enunciation, use it wisely, I thought he was having a seizure. And his sister in the audience, is she 47? Is he 47? He and the football dude can get together and reminisce about the Bay of Pigs and the golden era of Rod Laver.

I like her OK, probably due to our (wild guess) Shared Heritage and all, what up sister. If a white girl sang like that, she'd already be in the top 12. Just saying.

Tonight, on a very special episode of "The Heights." As much as I despise Lady Nosejob up there, that is nothing compared to how much I hate this guy. I actively hate him and everything he stands for. Why? Other than that he sucks, I really don't know, but just look at him. I will buy that girls are hot for John Stevens IV before this guy. He wouldn't even pass open mic night at Sidewalk Café. I mean, if John Waite had not sung that song before he did, would he even have known how to sing it?! If it had been Stuart Murdoch, would he have sung it with a lisp?! Good Lord. You get the picture.

I really really really really like her, and I can't possibly say why since she's not particularly good and tonight she was awful. What in the world was she wearing? She looked like Yasmine Bleeth in Babe. But I really like her. She's just implacably strange and weird and fascinating and I hope she stays around until I can figure out why I shouldn't like her anymore. I'm not getting emotionally involved.

Lady has got to stop crying all the time, I was tired of it four weeks ago. And those faces she makes while she's singing: Ooh! Oh! Ooh! like she's being goosed, it's creepy. But most of all the crying, it has to stop. No more drama. Or Pepto pink dresses.

Posted by Kim at March 9, 2004 11:38 PM | The Sound of Breaking Glass