Modern developments I have trouble comprehending:
311 and their cover of "Love Song." What, are they Dashboard Confessional now? Or was Dashboard Confessional perhaps unavailable to record this in the first place? And where's that guy who goes YingiddyBingiddyGingiddyDingiddy through half their songs? Is he just on the remix? I'm confused.
Kanye West's choruses of magic helium-sucking midgets. Or maybe they're chipmunks? They're chipmunks, right? Pixies? Sprites? Dwarves? I don't know, but I just don't want to hear any more of them, I really don't.
"Passions" and its magic reset buttons and mind-erasing tools. OK, in the course of one episode, Whitney is MAGICALLY back together with Chad and his bad Eric Benét makeover and all is forgiven? Fox is no longer think-talking every other second about how much he loves Whitney (who is not only the Woman He Loves but also the Woman of His Dreams and His Secret True Love) because he's now madly in love with Theresa? Theresa has somehow developed an anti-Ethan gene after YEARS of careful audience hypnosis to the contrary? Oh, you can't be serious. Gwen almost gets killed by Beth after almost getting killed by Beth during a maelstrom of suspicion about Beth and the Evil Beth Has Most Likely Probably Possibly Done, and yet she suspects that this time it was ... Theresa. Oh good, let's go down that road again while we "take it to the next level" of improbability as to how Luis and Sheridan are going to be separated ... FOREVER. Oh for butt's sake. Next they'll send Kay and her baby on safari in Kenya so Charity and Miguel can get back together and Reese will end up getting it on with, I don't know, how about Hank. Actually, that last one just might work. Butt please, I got bored of Sheridan in the mental hospital and I get bored whenever Sheridan and Luis are doing it, but when Sheridan and Luis were doing it in the mental hospital, that was pure television gold and a shining example of how to put on a show. Now I am thisclose to no longer caring because they've suddenly put on the brakes and switched gears to a) stale old plots and b) new plots that make no sense WITHOUT RESOLVING ANYTHING AT ALL. If they're gonna drag old stuff back out again, why not have a portal to Hell open up someplace, that's always a good time.
Linds@y Loh@n, who is apparently Fr@nkie Muniz in drag.
Commercials for diapers that will hug my baby's sexy, sexy curves and dynamite ass. I give up.
Posted by Kim at February 17, 2004 06:44 AM | Boo! | Moving Pictures"Spinning Around" by Kylie Minogue
Posted by: Kim at February 17, 2004 06:47 AM