It is time for you to stop all of your sobbing

When will local news stop with the stories about old ladies crying over their lost dogs? People lose their pets, my God, that is not news. Every time I see one of these stupid packages now all I can think of was the one a month or two ago where the old bag had a) left her dog in her car when she went shopping and b) left the doors unlocked. Unlocked! They should have stolen some more stuff from her while they were at it, because clearly that woman does not deserve to own anything at all. Surprisingly, the news story was not about how the dognappers were doing the dog a favor. There she was, all hysterical about how she couldn't live without her dog, the precious dog she left in her car with the doors unlocked while she went shopping. Maybe the dog got out of the car! Maybe he escaped to sweet sweet freedom! That would rule.